


Rise Of A Hero

by Dorthea



Series: A Part of the journey is the end [4]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Movies - Raimi), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Awesome Carol Danvers, Awesome Pepper Potts, BAMF Peter Parker, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Dead Peter Parker, Death, Endgame, F/M, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, Fourth Wall, Happy Hogan is a Good Bro, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt Stephen Strange, Hurt Tony Stark, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Minor Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Multiverse, Natasha Romanov Feels, Natasha Romanov Needs a Hug, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, POV Tony Stark, Panic Attacks, Parent Pepper Potts, Parent Thanos (Marvel), Past Character Death, Pepper Potts Needs a Hug, Pepper hug, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Whump, Pregnant Pepper Potts, Protective Pepper Potts, Protective Peter Parker, Soul Stone (Marvel), Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Gets a Hug, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Whump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:14:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28479747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dorthea/pseuds/Dorthea
Summary: The Avengers fail. Thanos snaps half the universe out of exitance, with a metallic snap that carries a way of power through the world.When Tony Stark finally get's home, after 34 days in space stuck with an unconscious wizard...... Secrets are releveled.As people all over the world attempts to figure out how to live, in a world without their loved ones.Can Tony Stark get over the lose of Peter Parker-Stark?Or does he jump on the first chance he's got to save his adopted son, despite everything he could lose?And will it work and get Peter back into Tony's arms?And what could it cost?***And what about Peter, as he wakes up in a world alone. A orange light shining softly over every inch.His friends asleep. Stranger's asleep. Everywhere someone's asleep.And who's the heck is the mysteries "second spider-man"?
Relationships: Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: A Part of the journey is the end [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1775335
Comments: 34
Kudos: 58





	1. So let the light guide your way

**Author's Note:**

> I've been wanting to start posting for a while, but after a major writing block I promised myself to wait with this story. I don't know how long it will get, or how soon it will be done. But I got 13 chapters, and a good outline. This... this might be bigger than Not By Blood.

_Previously on Not By Blood…  
The day in the Queens apartment pulls Peter’s life apart. Breaking it into a million piece, that he can’t put back together himself, as Tony Stark’s called… and as May’s body is rolled to the Morgue. Intracranial hematoma, better known as delayed bleeding in the brain.  
So while Peter attempts to get settled at the Compound with Tony and Pepper, and as Tony attempt to re-friend the roughs as they move in again after getting a good deal… they all become a family.  
One step at a time, they grow closer and closer.  
Nobody would have guessed Skip Wescott’s return to reveal Peter’s adoption to the media. Or the fact that Spider-man had once been rapped. But it does. And in the middle of the panic and stress, Peter falls into a coma in the depth of night.  
Through mountains of weird coma dreams and odd appearances of purple alien… Peter wakes up. A warning in his head of what’s about to happen, as they with careful steps makes it towards space, and flies towards Titan. But even with the extra information of Thanos, so deeply place inside Peter’s head, they don’t stand a chance. And as half the universe dust, the rest is left to pick up the pieces._

**Our story starts 34 days later.**

“I lost the kid”. Those are the first words Tony mumbles as he steps onto the ground, out of the spaceship. Pulled into a slight hug from Steve. His strong arms around Tony’s starve body. “I lost the kid”.  
  
“Tony” Steve says carefully, “We lost”. Tony eyes are glassy and red. Big and sad. The tear tracks falling down his face on either side. Down his cheeks, like rivers. It’s been their constant state, since the snap. Since the metallic snap, echoed through the universe. Sending a wave of death, and misery and destruction with it.  
  
When Tony had entered the ship once owned by the guardians, he had fixed it up, repaired it. He knew getting home was a lost cause. He had no clue where to start, or where to go. And his only company, where an unconscious wizard, that had more secrets than Tony.  
  
And Tony had a lot of secrets.  
  
He was stuck in space for 34 days. Ran out of food, water. And oxygen would have cut out soon too, killing Tony and Strange, if it were not for Coral Danvers, also known as Captain Marvel.  
  
As it turns out, she had been the original inspiration for the ‘Avengers initiative’. She had met Fury and fought by his side, way before the year of 2000.  
  
Tony was, thankful she had showed up. Despite the loss of his kid, Peter Parker-Stark, Tony had to go home. Had to find out if Pepper was still there. He could not just leave Pepper. “Is uhm…?” Tony’s voice breaks in a breath. He’s scared to ask, or… well, scared of the answer he might get.  
  
He doesn’t get a second chance to ask, “Oh my god!”. Pepper’s voice is filled with emotion. She isn’t crying, she hasn’t been for a while. Tony knows that. He can see it on her face. Which, probably means she has been running around, distracting herself with Stark Industries, helping out where she could in what is probably a world falling apart. Forcing herself to stay strong, and not show weakness, as she moves around in a blur. “Oh my god… oh my god” she keeps repeating under her breath, pulling Tony close. Into a big hug. And Tony returns it. Strong arms around Peppers small, skinny, frame. Her lose hair brushing against his shoulder, as she sobs quietly.  
  
It’s with shaky legs, Steve and Pepper supporting him, that he slowly makes it towards the compound. The building lighting up the world, in the dark night. Almost as if nothing had changed… but really, everything had.  
  
The big A on the side of a building, reminding Tony of what they had lost.  
  
Being helped through the big glass doors, entering what had been Tony’s home ever since civil war, where he and Pepper had really fallen in love. And where, they together had taken on the challenge of rising a grieving teenager. The place no longer felt like home.  
  
The lack of the energetic kid, living in the room, right next to vision. The lack of his backpack being thrown on the floor in the kitchen area, schoolwork spread over the bar counter. His hoodie hanging on the chair next to him, as he sat there, nose deep in the books he was reading. Or where his homework was written.  
  
Tony felt the emptiness and, and the lack of passion, of calm, of family.  
  
Because Tony lost the kid.  
  
In the English language there is a word for orphans. A word that could both be applied to Tony himself, but even more so, to Peter.  
  
In the English language, there is a word for windows. People who have been left behind by loved once. As death pulled apart their strong threads of love. Cut over with knifes, leaving hurt and pain and murder on the table. As men and women sites alone.  
  
Now, both windows and orphans in millions, in billions had been created by Thanos snap…  
  
… but one thing was missing.  
  
A word for the parents who lost a child.  
  
Tony isn’t really a parent himself, and if this had happened just years earlier, Tony would have told everyone around him, that the famous Tony Stark. Would never be a parent. Partly in fear of him, becoming like his father. Cold and uncaring. But Peter had proved differently. Not just to the people around Tony, but also to Tony. Even if he didn’t want to admit it. Especially not now.  
  
Happy is waiting inside for Tony and Pepper, and before anything can be said he takes over Steve’s job with a quite nod and Tony is guided towards the med Bay. The relief on Happy’s shoulders are clear. There’s no doubt that he had been presumed dead. It would make sense!  
  
Half the universe had been dusted, and Tony was nowhere to be found. Death would make sense.  
  
“There’s something we have to talk about Boss” Happy informs him. And Tony almost wants to just, collapse. He can’t do this right now. Can’t face the number of deaths, the Avengers caused. How many people they had failed. “It's nothing bad” Happy reassure him with a small smile.  
  
They entered the med Bay in silence. The only sound Tony could hear was the sound of his feet hitting the ground, for every tired step he took towards the open door.  
  
The room, the compound, it’s like he never left it. Like he never moved to the city, if only for a week, in hopes Peter would be doing better there. It’s like… it’s like things never changed. The med bay is still prepared for whole the team, not the sad, miserable part’s that is left of it. There are still mountains of cloth, of hoodies, and pants and t-shirt for all of them. The spider-man hoodie, Tony had gotten the kid when he started using the med bay, staring at him with bright colors of red and blue with the web design in black all over it.  
  
It’s like things never really changed.  
  
Of course, they didn’t…  
  
If things had changed the team would have fought together. Side by side against Thanos. Not apart like they had done. How could Tony have been so blind? As to think things where better, just because the rouges had moved back in. Just because he forgave Bucky, and because he put a little trust in him. Things had not changed.  
  
Tony just kept staring at the red fabric, as Pepper and Happy carefully pushed him onto a bed. “Tony, breath. Okay” Pepper begged, “It’s okay. Your just in the med bay. It’s alright. No reason to panic”. Tony hadn’t even realized he wasn’t breathing, but now that he knew, he could feel his lungs burn slightly. The panic and fear hitting him. Twisting his gut. Leaving a stone in his throat. Making him unable to speak, or to breath. Making it impossible to think about anything other than the kid. The dust flying away in the wind, and rest of it covering Tony, sticking to his bloody and beaten-up body. _‘I’ll go home to May and Ben now’_ being whispered inside his brain, over and over.  
  
“Tony!” Pepper’s careful hands pulls Tony’s closer to her, as she’s standing in his vision. Her blue eyes filled with worry and pain staring into his soul. But she’s smiling as she places Tony’s one hand on her chest, making him copy her breathing. And his second hand on her stomach.  
  
If Tony looks closely, it seems she’s had a big lunch. Her thin frame, seems slightly, less thin than what she had 34 days ago. Before he went to space.  
  
With each of Pepper’s breath, Tony can feel his own breath slow down. His heart beating a little slower. A little less intense. No longer filling like it could pop out of his chest at any moment. But calm and relax. At least a little.  
  
He lets his eyes slid shut as he and Pepper keeps breathing together. The only sound he can hear is Pepper’s breath. He can feel the movement of her chest and… wait a… no… that can’t be.  
  
Tony’s eyes shut up, meeting Pepper’s eyes that is slowly filling with tears as she moves both his hands to her stomach. And it’s real. The small, fluttery kicks on the other side of Pepper’s thin skin is real. The movement weak, but clear under Tony’s palm. It’s not a dream. Tony isn’t dreaming this time. “Morgan” he whispers. The dream stills stand clear in his head. Morgan.  
  
Tony’s eyes widen, as the pieces all fall together. “He heard it…” Tony whispers. “Peter heard it. He knew about it. He… he… he told me I’d be a great dad. He knew” Tony sobs. Because Peter knew. Peter had known about Morgan! Had known what was to come.  
  
“What are you talking about Tony” Pepper looks to him with confusion, “How would Peter know about it, when you didn’t?”.  
  
Tony takes a deep breath, “He… he told me he heard. God, the kid has-“ Tony bits himself in his lip, hard enough to pull blood. The metallic taste filling his mouth. “… had super hearing. He… he probably heard. And… and he… he saved my life Pepper. Jump between me and Thanos. Even if he hadn’t been dusted, he wouldn’t have made it home. He gave himself, because he knew about Morgan”. Tony doesn’t even think as he pulls Pepper close, placing a careful kiss on her cheek. “I’m going to be a father. This… this is another chance”.  
  
“Your gonna have to tell me more about that later” Pepper says in a warning voice, “But yes, this is our second chance. But Tony” Pepper pulls away, meeting Tony’s eyes, filled with seriousness. “Peter doesn’t blame you. What happened, it isn’t your fault. I know that”.  
  
Tony takes a deep breath; he can feel his whole body shaking violently. Almost convulsing. Trembling, as it set in. Tony was going to be a dad because he lost a kid. That hurt. The fact that, this felt like a choice, like a replacement. That hurt. The fact the Tony was becoming a father to a little baby girl, who would grow up in a world without her brother. That all hurt so much just to think about. And Peter had jumped between Tony and the purple monster of a grape, with that knowledge. He'd known he’d leave. That he wouldn’t make it home.  
  
“Does… does anybody else know?” Tony can’t help but ask. He hopes that Pepper hasn’t gone with it all alone since he went to space. That she trusted someone to help.  
  
Pepper nods, a slight smile on her lips. “Only Happy".  
  
“Boss, I’m going to grab Helen. You need medical attention like, yesterday" Happy almost growls as he says it, but Tony doesn’t put up a fight. That is the last thing anybody needs right now. No, Tony just let himself lean against the soft bed, feeling the last energy seep out of his body as he does so. His eyes getting heavy, like weights are pulling them down. And Tony lets them.  
  
Doesn’t fight the tired fatigue as it pulls him under. Despite knowing what is waiting behind his closed eyes. What is waiting in the darkness. The death of his son forever imprinted in his mind.  
  
Tony isn’t at peace with what happened. There is a burning gab in his heart where Peter is supposed to be. An empty space in his chest, that nobody can fill in. Despite surgeries and treatment options. This cannot be fixed.  
  
Tony will not forget how it felt, hugging the boy close as he left. As the light and life, slowly but surely left his eyes. His forgiveness, and reassurance, that ‘It’s okay’.  
  
As the heat had vanish, and all that was left, was the cold wind making the desert’s sand dance. As the sun went down in the distant horizon. As the only thing left, was pain. And hurt. And darkness.  
  
Tony was alone.  
  
He opens his eyes just barely. But enough to see Pepper’s face.  
  
She hurts about Peter as well, but she got Tony back. She could have lost them both. It’s like Peter had known about that as well… like he’d know about everything. _‘You’re not the only one cursed with knowledge, Stark. Not that you would know, even if it were right under your nose… isn’t that right little one’._  
  
She carefully reaches out, one hand running through his hair. With calm movements. “Sleep Tony. It’s okay. Your home now, your safe. You came back to me” Pepper smiles, “It’s okay”.  
  
The darkness pulls him under.  
  
He doesn’t notice as Cho runs his hands over his body, to check for injuries. As she hooks up an I.V with important nutrition.  
  
Tony sleeps, for real, for the first time 34 days.  
  
For the first time since the world broke into hell.  
  
Into war…


	2. Burn if you must, but rise from the dust

**34 days earlier**

Peter whole body aces as he clings to Tony’s side. The ice over the wound was cold against his sensitive skin, but soon it wouldn’t matter. The wound was deep, even with his enhanced healing, there was no chance of it healing correctly on it’s own. And no humanly chance they’d actually get back to earth. It just… wasn’t a possibility.  
  
Peter had known that going into it. Known it when he jumped between Tony and Thanos.  
  
Peter didn’t regret it.  
  
Peter knew how it felt to grow up without parents. Sure, he had May and Ben, but… that was never quite the same. He never called them mom and dad, like other kids did their parents. They were always aunt and uncle. Nothing more. Nothing less.  
  
Peter knew even better how it felt to grow up without a father.  
  
Ben had been killed, murdered. The blood had seeped out his body, from his abdomen. Just like it was from Peter’s own body now. And it was happening for the same reasons… protect. Love.  
  
Ben never got to teach Peter how to shave. Tony had done that by the time he’d gotten into the picture, before then it had been a constant test of trial and error. Ben never got to teach Peter how to tie and tie. That had happened with May, in the apartment before homecoming. Peter having been stuffed down in a borrowed suit, that didn’t quite fit. Ben never got to teach Peter how to drive. May had tried but failed. And now, Tony and Happy wouldn’t get to finish it. Peter would be long gone, by the time they got back to earth.  
  
None of it, had been able to replace Ben anyways. And Ben had never been able to replace Richard, Peter’s biological father. Despite Ben trying.  
  
You can’t replace a parent.  
  
Not even Tony was able to replace what Peter had lost.  
  
Peter loved Tony and Pepper. It felt like family being at the compound with Bucky and Steve and other others. He felt at home there. But they weren’t a replacement. Richard and Mary would always be Peter parents. May and Ben would always be the aunt and uncle.  
  
Happy would always be the grumpy driver with a soft spot. The second chance May had needed.  
  
Pepper would always be the CEO with 12% of the credit. Standing in front of camera’s talking about now products the Stark Industries has created.  
  
Steve would always be stuck in the past, even if the love of his life was gone. But there didn’t really matter, because Steve’s past had created him. Both literally and mentally. If Steve had been there, right at this moment, Peter knew Steve would do everything he could to save him. Even if it was a lost cause. Steve wouldn’t leave anyone to die. Never again.  
  
Bucky, James Barns, would always be the winter soldier. Hydra’s control might have been gone, but the memories were still there. But the trust he got from Peter and Tony, might help him to accept that part of his life, and become strong through it.  
  
Clint would always be the father, ready to do anything, to protect his kids. Fight for them, more than he’d fight for himself. Wanda could confirm that.  
  
Natasha would never stop her desperate attempt, of cleaning the blood of her fingers and hands. The dried blood under her nails. Never realizing that she had already done so, just by changing her path. Joining the Avengers team, and becoming a hero. A spider.  
  
Wanda would always be the new girl, the fighter. Not just fighting for herself, but for her brother.  
  
Thor would never be anything but a god. But a god who knew what it meant to walk between humans and seeing life from a different perspective.  
  
Banner would always never himself as a monster. An accident that is just waiting to kill. Scared of his own abilities. Scared to change in so many ways. Scared that what he’s doing isn’t good enough. That hulk forever will just be a monster, creating fear in everyone around him.  
  
And Tony…  
  
Oh God Tony.  
  
Tony would always blame himself. Always beat himself up. Always fight himself, and the people around him. Always fear what might happen to them. Always hid what he’s really feeling. But, Tony would always be a father. A dad. The strongest, most powerful person in a kids life.  
  
Tony would never say it out loud, Peter knew that, but things had changed when Peter had come into his life. And Peter was about to make sure, he got to see the biggest change of his life.  
  
His unborn child.  
  
Morgan.  
  
Peter had heard the name before. During the coma.  
  
Morgan was Tony’s child. And Peter had heard that heartbeat. The quiet, but strong and beautiful heartbeat. And Peter couldn’t let Morgan live without her father.  
  
That’s why he pushed himself between Thanos and Tony despite knowing he wouldn’t make it.  
  
But life?  
  
That was something Peter was willing to give up.  
  
He barely gets up from the ground with Tony’s help, before his legs give out under him. The buzzing in the back of his skull, loud and clear, and his enhanced sense picks up, with nobody else can. The metallic click, that means Thanos did it.  
  
His legs turn to weak pieces of meat as he falls to the ground, pulling Tony with him as he tries to balance. But he fails.  
  
“Somethings happening” the girl, Mantis, with her insect or bug like features says, suddenly. Peter knows Mantis can feel other people’s emotions. To some extent put them to sleep. They’d used that, in the fight against Thanos. Peter can only imagen what it must feel like, to feel half the universe die at once. All the pain, and fear. And the sorrow and sadness and confusion… and chaos of the people left behind.  
  
She’s the first to go. Her small, thin frame, holding up Peter Quill, Star lord, suddenly turning to dust in the matter of seconds. Not knowing what’s going on.  
  
Drax is next. Not a word muttered from his mouth as his alien body of gray and red slowly but surely pulls his cell’s apart. Starting with the right arm, and slowly building up. Only when Quill stars at him, not saying anything, but his stuttering breath clear does Drax ask “Quill?”.  
  
“Steady Quill” Tony says, carefully from next to Peter. Quill’s breath is growing faster by the seconds, and that’s not something they can deal with right now.  
  
But as Quill turns towards Tony and Peter, his body is already being pulled apart as he whispers under his breath “Oh man”. It’s clear in his eyes, that he misses whoever Gamora is. A girlfriend would be Peter’s best guess, but he can’t be sure. He just knows that what he sees in Quill’s eyes, he’s seen in May’s too, when Ben died. And in Happy’s when May died. Had he been with his parents when they died, he’s sure he would have seen the same thing.  
  
The only comforting though Peter can get into his brain, is that at least Quill get reunited with her soon. The dust of his body being carried to the lands of love.  
  
At least so he hopes.  
  
The blue alien. The cyborg. The only one Peter can’t imagen ever dying looks to Tony as well. Joins them with quick steps, but not quick enough. “My father never lies” she whispers “he said he’d kill half the universe, and so he did. Go to the garden”.  
  
Tony’s full attention turn to Peter. Peter who, can feel his body being pulled apart and put back together, over and over. The pain bigger, and strong and worse than anything Peter has ever felt. A burning feeling filling his body, as his enhanced healing slowly gives in. As the wound starts to bleed again. Violent drops of blood, flowing out his body.  
  
Tony voice is panicked but sounds almost far away when he calls out to Peter. “Please don’t give up kiddo”. He’s begging. They both know what’s about to happen. Both knows that Peter is dying. His healing can only do so much, as the snap pulls apart his body. Piece by piece.  
  
In a desperate, last attempt to comfort his mentor… his… his father, Peter speaks carefully. Trying to hide the rasp in his throat. “This is for the better” _for Morgan._ “I’m okay now Tony” _don’t save me, it’s okay. Don’t blame yourself._ “I have peace now” _I can’t lose anything else. I can’t lose Ned and MJ. Can’t lose Flash, or Echo or William._ “I’ll go home to May and Ben now” _I get to see them again now, wherever they. Get to see my parents. My family. My time’s over. It’s okay._  
  
“Don’t leave me Underoos” Tony’s strong arms pulls him into a hug, despite the blood. Despite the pain Peter doesn’t mind. “Don’t leave me, I can’t lose you Pete. Not you”.  
  
Peter smiles carefully, hoping that Tony can see it, and that it will help him, just a little. “I heard it” Peter says. “Tony, I heard it”. And he did. He heard it. The beat of hope that night. Morgan. He heard Morgan. This is for Morgan.  
  
“Hear what kiddo? What are you-“ Tony’s voice breaks, clearly feeling what Peter feels himself. As his body breaks about between Tony’s arms, the feeling of dust in the air. The pain. The oh so intense pain, as the life is sucked out of him so slowly. So painfully slow.  
  
“You’re going to be a great dad” Peter whispers. He doesn’t have power for anything else ”I know that, I felt that. I lived that”.  
  
Tony shakes his head, “What are… what are you talking about Kiddo”. And Peter thinks to himself, that… oh yeah. Tony doesn’t know about Morgan yet. But it’s too late. He’s gone. His body gone. In mind alone in a place of fear and darkness and cold.  
  
Darkness as long as can he see.  
  
Infinite Darkness.  
  
Pay attention to everything, and the truth will reveal itself. Peter knows that. But Pay attention to what. There’s… nothing?  
  
No ground under his feet. No smell in the air. Not feeling of cold, or heat. Or anything. No bright blinding stars, glowing all around him. No space. No ability to move anywhere and find anything. There’s just… well no. There isn’t really even death. At least, this isn’t what Peter imagens from death.  
  
Death seems a lot more… pretty. At least so he would imagen.  
  
A lot more heroic. Maybe. Maybe this doesn’t feel like death, because there’s nobody waiting for him. No Ben. No May. No Mary. No Richard. None of the guardians. Not of his loved once.  
  
No God. No Jesus. Not that Peter believe in either.  
  
Just the inevitable darkness.  
  
And that scares him.  
  
The fact there there’s nothing around him, and that this… whatever this is, could be **infinity**. That fact that he could be there forever. Alone.  
  
Left all to himself.  
  
Peter can’t help but imagen all the kids the snap must have taken. Waking up in this land of darkness and emptiness. Of nothingness. Just fear, and loneliness. No way out. No way in. Just… this. And nothing more. Just darkness. Darkness as far as anyone can see.  
  
Peter just stands there, looking around. Hoping that somehow, something will appear. That someone will come find him, get him out. That Tony might join him.  
  
Nobody shows up. But Peter can hear a faint sound. Is that the quite tone of a choir? The distant sound, of the dark tone, slowly coming closer in the darkness. A harmony of voices. A harmony of life and godly wishes. Of dreams and… light.  
  
The orange light is almost blinding to Peter’s eyes. The hot color seeping into the darkest parts of him. Cleansing him with the light. As the darkness around him, is eaten up by the orange bright light. Of harmony.  
  
The structure in the distances is slowly pieces together, block by block. Brick by brick. As it’s stands there’s filled with power. The pillars as a support of life.  
  
And the girl. The young, young girl with her emerald green skins standing in the middle bridge. Her purple dress, long and tight around he small arms. Her fingers small and delicate. Her hair colored. Shining in the orange light. Making her seem almost magical, as she turns around to watch as Thanos walks closer.  
  
Step by step, the ground moving under his feet like water.  
  
Like liquid.  
  
Like the story of Jesus, walking over the ocean. The lack.  
  
But Thanos is no god. _God’s don’t bleed_ , **Thanos bleed**.  
  
“Did you do it?” the young girls voice is soft, filled with emotions and pain and fear. As her hair dances in the wind, as Thanos gets closer. Almost close enough to touch her.  
  
But he stops short. Emotion, like any human, like any being has, filling his eyes. As the salty water runs down his cheeks, in small fine drops. Like pearls. One by one, falling. Hitting the ground below and disappearing in the ocean… the ocean of tears. “Yes” his deep voice says, almost echoing in the nothingness. But the girl doesn’t seem scared of it, of the fact of death and chaos, like Peter does.  
  
She just meets his eyes with a strong look, so determined for such a young age, “What did it cost?”. Thanos lowers his head. The pain of looking at the girl clearly is clear. The hurt. The grief.  
  
_Gamora_ , a quiet voice tells. This is Gamora. Thanos daughter.  
  
“Everything” Thanos says, his voice shaky. Gamora just looks at him, realizing clear on her face, despite her young age. As quiet intake of breath, a tremble of her lip.  
  
Thanos killed his daughter.  
  
Ready to give up everything he had, to achieve his goal.  
  
Thanos looks over Gamora before turning his eyes to Peter. To the right. Looking at him, making Peter take a step back, in panic. The feeling of the liquid ground weird under his feet. As he stumbles. And he falls. And he wishes that the ocean beneath him would swallow him.  
  
“I once told you it was a small price to pay for salvation, little one” Thanos says, picking Gamora up carefully as he walks closer. “But it’s just like you told me. With great power… comes great responsibility. I saw what had to be done. Know what it's like to lose. To feel so desperately that you're right, yet to fail, nonetheless. It's frightening, turns the legs to jelly. I ask you to what end? Dread it. Run from it. Destiny arrives all the same. And now it's here” Thanos voices breaks at his own speech. “I’ll give you one thing, Parker Stark. You got my respect; half the universe is still standing. Living on. That’s my gift to you”.  
  
From behind Thanos a blinding light shines strongly and powerful. Growing, with a sense of heat flowing off it. A promise of better times, maybe. A promise of life.  
  
Or maybe more a promise of death.  
  
And it glows. Slowly filling Peter’s vision.  
  
Until all Peter can see is one bright light and nothingness…


	3. We’re all lost sometimes

Tony leans back in the rolling chair, sitting in the compound meeting room with everyone who’s left. Steve, Wanda, T’challa, Pepper, Happy, Bruce, Thor, Loki, Clint, Natasha, Stephen Strange, Rhodey, Carol Danvers. All lost someone important. All left alone.  
  
Natasha and Clint lost Clint’s kid and wife. The people who weren’t just a family to Clint, but to Natasha as well. They were just gone. No longer there. When they’d returned to the farm, when Thanos was gone, there weren’t even a pill of dust and ash. Just, nothing. Just gone.  
  
Stephens friend and ‘roommate’, Wong’s remains had been found at the Sanctum Sanctorum. Even it’s powerful magic had been unable to protect him. Strange isn’t even awake to be told yet. But his body growing strong for every movement. It feels like keeping a secret from him, sitting here without him, knowing that his best friend is dead. And that there’s nothing anyone can do about it. Because the Avengers failed when it counted the most.  
  
Rhodey has lost Sam Wilson. After Sam had joined the team as Falcon, the two had gotten close over their shared military experience. Sure, they weren’t the same. But the trauma could sometimes bind strong friendships, then anything else could. They had even been talking about getting out stationed again. Falcon and War Machine, side by side in the sky. Flying into danger headfirst, no fear in the world. Nothing to stop them. Now Rhodey flew alone.  
  
Thor and Loki lost half a people. A people, who only days earlier, had lost a home. A land. Everything they knew pulled apart. And Thor… Thor had been the last defense. Thor blamed himself. That was new for the god.  
  
Carol had lost a family. People she barely knew, yet she wouldn’t call them anything but family. Tony knew what that meant. The power it gave a person. The love it could create.  
  
Steve had lost Bucky. Not just a friend in war, but a friend from childhood. The last thing reminding him of who he once where, and what he had become. And Tony knew, Steve understood the pain of loss, the same way Tony did. No more words had been said between the two since Tony came home. But they both knew what their share. Even if they didn’t share out loud.  
  
Bruce didn’t talk about what he had lost. Tony wasn’t even sure if Bruce had anyone to lose, but based on the pain in his face, something had happened. Something nobody understood. Maybe it was hulk related? Tony had heard about that. How the big green monster had hidden away in fear.  
  
And Tony, Pepper and Happy all lost too… Peter was gone. Dusted on titan. No body to burry. No life to memories. He’d been a warrior in those last moment. An Avengers. Ready to fight, and ready to gives his life for the greater cause. Ready for anything.  
  
Even for death.  
  
“It’s been 35 days, since Thanos came to earth” Rhodey spoken in a deep voice. Choosing every word carefully. Aware that someone could break whenever. He’d chosen to stand with Carol, probably so he could always keep an eye on Tony across the room.  
  
The holo-screen were lifted in whole the room, reach going over every team member lost. Every king or queen. Every kid, every parent. Every brother or sister. Everyone who’d been killed by the snap. The snap they called it. More like the dusting. More like the ultimate murder. Snap sounded almost to simply to Tony’s brain.  
  
The snap.  
  
“World governments are in pieces” Natasha slowly briefs, “The parts that are still working… are trying to take census. And it looks like he did…” Natasha voice break’s as Peter’s school photo, the one from his passport and subway card stared back at Tony, with a blue light, the screen flickering. The name hadn’t even been updated. Still Peter Parker. Not Peter Parker Stark. Stuck in a time.  
  
It made Tony unsure, what name there should be on the stone. Would it be Parker like the rest of his family? Of Stark like Tony’s? Or Parker Stark, just because that was the name Peter choose?  
  
“… He did exactly what he said he was going to do” Natasha says the last parts as the picture of Peter switches to Shuri. Her brown eyes only slightly darker than Peter’s. They’d worked so great together in the lab before Christmas.  
  
Tony can’t help but rest his head in his hand. The I.V in his arm is itching and annoying. Tony has wanted to pull it out since he woke up, but he hasn’t. Pepper doesn’t deserve that. Nobody does. They have already worried for over a month, not knowing if he’d ever return.  
  
“We’ve been haunting Thanos for three weeks now” Steve sighs, stress clear in his face. “Deep space scans, and satellites… and we got nothing” there’s a break. A quiet break. And the regret is clear on Steve’s face. “Tony you fought him”.  
  
“Who told you that?” Tony asks with madness in his voice, but not his usually fire. It’s unexpected even for Tony, and while the people around him flinch, he also does so himself. Scared. Panicked. “I didn’t fight him. No, he wiped my face with a planet, while the wizard next door” he nods towards the med bay “gave away the magical stone. That’s what happened! He threw a moon at us, and I would have been toast, if not for the self-sacrificing kid, who didn’t deserve to die”. The last is said with a snare.  
  
“Did he give you any clue-“ Tony snaps in, making Steve shutter.  
  
“I saw this coming, a few years back. I had a vision. I didn’t want to believe it, but the kid clearly knew too. Not that I understand how. In that vision, just like now, I needed you” Tony stares at Steve, cold eyes. “As in past tense. You know what I need? I need a shave” Tony says forcing himself to his feet, despite knowing it’s going to fail. He’s weak. His body starved. A bony skeleton.  
  
Despite his weak state, he pulls the I.V. The sticky tape pulling hairs out of his arm, and it hurts. But Tony doesn’t care. Not one bit. “I said we’d lose” Tony reminds them. “That we couldn’t fight that. But you and your little wannabe boyfriend said that we’d do that together. Wake up call, we didn’t. We said that if somebody died, we’d fight another day. For them. In their memory. But we can’t fight anymore. We’re too late” Tony shakes his head, “I got nothing… nothing but the words of a blue woman says that we had to find ‘the garden’” Tony steps closer, pulling the reactor of his chest, and forcing it into Steve’s hands. “You find him, you put that on… and you pray you won’t die like Pete… Like Bucky”.  
  
A dizzy spell pulls Tony to his knees. Pain shooting through his legs. His breath pulls out of his lung, as dark spots dances in his vision. And pulls him under. 

***

_“It’s my second day in space, and I’m attempting to fix this… old ship that used to be owned by the guardians” Tony has placed the helmet so it can see him while working. Attempting to get everything up and running. “It’s different than what I’m used to, but I’m Tony Stark. I can do anything! Or… so I though”.  
  
Tony sighs, letting the tool drop from his hand, “I guess I need to make something clear, in case you ever see this, which, I doubt. The kid was killed. Peter Parker Stark fought bravely against Thanos, but was snapped. He was better known as Spider-man. So, if you ever watch this back, I hope he isn’t all forgotten, despite likely having been gone for years before this is ever shown” Tony let’s his hands massage above his eyes, in small circles. “He was good, and strong. The best of all of us, and… if anyone could have stopped Thanos, it was him”.  
  
“I’m Tony Stark, the wizard who’s also on the ship is Dr. Stephen Strange” Tony adds in carefully, “If you find us and see this, there’s a good chance we both have family on earth who wants closure. Please bring this helmet to them. Or… if you can whole the ship”.  
  
Tony shakes his head, “This is stupid…”._

***

_“It’s day 5 in space, and counting” Tony has a slight smile on his face, “I got the ship up and running. At least I think so. We’re ready for takeoff at any moment, but if it fails… I thought, maybe you’d want to know that I tried” Tony smiles and wiggles with his ring finger.  
  
“If I got the chance to do anything over right now. Choose anything to change, it… unlike what you might think it isn’t to bring the kid back. But to confirm that me and Pepper was right for each other” Tony shakes his head, “I don’t say it enough. Actually, I don’t know how you can even love me. But. Pepper, I love you. And yes, I’ll take you to my wife, till death pull us apart”.  
  
Tony slides out a bottle of water he’s found on the ship, “Not quite champagne” he chuckles. “But beggars can’t be choosers”. The lid is tight, but Tony easily get’s it open and let’s the cold-water slide into his mouth and down his throat with big gulps.  
  
“Peter would have loved this if he’d gotten a chance to really take it in. The open space, the stars, the planets. I can see them from here, the surface. It’s not quite like earth. We saw them too from Thanos ship, but… he might have been too busy to really take in the moment. His Star Wars nerdy head would have really fallen in love. It’s like a whole fantasy world out here. Going out here, might have been a dream come true for him. That makes it a little easier. Takes a little of the guilt away. Thinking that maybe he died while his dream becomes true. Like a hero. A… a jedi”.  
  
“I hope so”, Tony carefully uses the last water drops to slide over the lips of the wizard. Making his chapped lips a lip’s a little less chapped. _

***

_The cape was flying all over, desperately trying to get Tony’s attention. It wasn’t hard. The ship was small, they were almost right next to each other. And even if they hadn’t been, noticing a flying piece of clothing, really wasn’t hard at all.  
  
It was more surprising than anything. The cape had been loyally staying with it’s owner. Stephen Strange. But something seemed to have changed suddenly.  
  
Tony sighed and pushed himself to his feet, the recording he’d just started completely forgotten about. If the wizard was dying, the least Tony could do was go and, attempt to comfort him. Even if his sacrifice in giving up the stone, had caused his kid and half the universe to die.  
  
“Peter would have died anyways” Tony whispers to himself.  
  
Out of the 14 million, 6 hundred and five possibly outcomes there had only been one where they won. Or maybe one where Thanos won? The wizard hadn’t gotten a chance to say that much. His stuttered voice had rasped out “There’s one-“ between breaths, before he finally collapsed. And while Tony’s best guess where that the Avengers had one chance; he couldn’t be sure of it. What if he had meant something different?  
  
The sound of every step he took, through the metal ship, echoed loudly with thud after thud, after thud. Other than that, everything was quiet.  
  
Tony couldn’t help but wonder if Peter had notice that too. He knew the kid had enhanced senses and hearing. He knew the kid used to have sensory overloads from time to time. But, in space sound didn’t work quite the same. Had being in space, been the first time since Peter got his power’s where it was truly quiet? Or maybe even longer? The kid had grown up in the city that never sleeps. Maybe, going to space was the first time Peter ever felt silence. Would that have been scary to the kid or not? You could get sensory overloads sure, but Tony also knew of sensory deprivation. A common form of torture in some cultures. In other cultures, people build sensory tanks to create it. Helping people with stress and anxiety.  
  
As Tony got to the wizard’s side, it was clear right away, that he was awake. With a quick movement Tony grabbed a water bottle and protein bar he’d had laid aside, should the wizard wake up.  
  
Stephen looked pale and starved despite it only having been 9 days since they left earth. Tony had really done his best to help the man when he couldn’t do anything on his own. But it was hard. Tony didn’t know what half the stuff in the med bay where, yet alone how to use it.  
  
He carefully helped the wizard sit before opening the water bottle for him and helping him getting it to his mouth. And watched as relief floated the wizard’s body, as the water floated down his throat. Before he rasped. “How long?” in a voice almost as quiet and nonexistent and a breath. Tony just barely catching it.  
  
“Around 8 days” Tony says carefully, “Are you feeling alright?”.  
  
Stephen looks around the ship, taking it all it. The windows letting the star light in. The computers. The blinking lights in the controls. “Are we the only survivors?”.  
  
Tony doesn’t really dare to respond, just quietly nods. “You didn’t answer my question” he reminds. But the wizard just keeps looking around, seeming unsure of where he is. Like he’s forgotten how things work. How life works. He suddenly moves his hands, and with widen eyes he looks as they shake in front of him.  
  
“Where am I” Stephen asks, “What did you do to me. What happened to my hands?”.  
  
Tony isn’t sure what to think of whole the situations. What he’s supposed to tells the wizard who clearly doesn’t remember. Is this because he saw all those futures? Has he forgotten what is real and what isn’t? “Strange?” Tony questions quietly, “Does this has something to do with whole your, looking into the future thing?”.  
  
Stephen looks like he’s about to shake his head but stops himself in it. “I… sorry. I would guess so. I didn’t believe myself to actually survive. Nebula-“ the blue woman Tony reminds himself, “She was supposed to be here, not me”.  
  
“Well, but here you are” Tony says, a quiet smile. “Any chance you can get us home?” but before the question is finished the wizard slumps over, hitting Tony lightly in the chest. Out again. Dead weight to the world. Tony sighs to himself and with the help of the cape. No, cloak, gets the wizard back onto the mattress he’s been laying on._

***

_“It’s day 18 in space” Tony says quietly. The wizard hasn’t been awake for just about 9 days. No change. But Tony had started to understand the cloak a little. So, he wasn’t quiet as lonely anymore. “The heating system seems to be failing. I can probably fix it, but if I fail, like with everything else… it could kill me” Tony shakes his head. “Let’s not think like that”.  
  
“It’s actually kind of funny, this reminds me of a book the kid told me a little about on our way to titan” Tony recalls. “The Martian. Said it inspired him and helped him find a plan to save us from that, first alien. The one that came to earth in the giant doughnut. Or, more like. The people in his ears told him about it and helped him make it work. God… I wish I could meet those people that Peter had gotten as friends so fast. They must have been amazing, to take everything with being a superhero to chill after just a few hours of knowing him” Tony let’s a small smile slip on his face, “I should find them. Contact them. Let them know what happened”.  
  
Tony breaks a part of the protein bar he’s playing with in his hands, before popping the piece into his mouth. The bar is weird in texture, but the only thing Tony got to eat right now. So, he chews on it carefully. “This” Tony shakes the bar in front of the camera, “is what really reminds me of what the kid said. Watney, is stuck on mars. And must grow potato’s if he wants food enough, to get home. I don’t have any potato’s, but the idea that the rations isn’t enough, and that I’m stuck in space alone, is pretty spot on. I might read it when I get back to earth”. _

***

_Tony flips small pieces of paper folded into small triangle pieces, towards the camera of the helmet. One, by one, by one. Almost unconsciously staring into the nothingness. The loneliness of space. A bottle of water by his side, and a half-eaten bar. “It’s been 25 days now. The heating system is still bugging out a bit, but I think we should be safe for another week or so, before I touch it again”.  
  
“Have you ever seen those living background for your computer when your computer goes into slumber mode? Yeah, me neither. But I almost imagen it would be like this. Staring into the stars for hours on end, with nothing better to do. But it doesn’t matter, cause it’s pretty. And relaxing. And you can just, think about everything that’s going through your head?”.  
  
A few tears drop from Tony’s eyes, as he stops flipping the paper pieces. Using his arm to dry them off. “What would May say if she was here? What would she think? I was supposed to protect him, but clearly I failed. I took him to space, and he didn’t return. What would I have done, if May was waiting at home for news about her nephew, and I came home having to tell her, that ‘oh sorry? Your nephew, the kid you trust me with? He’s gone’. I mean, how would I do that?”. Tony shakes his head, “I shouldn’t even be thinking about it because May is dead. But what if she hadn’t been. What if…?”.  
  
“Anyways” Tony stops, taking a deep breath before reaching out for the empty bar rapper and slowly, carefully rapping the last piece of the bar back into it. “I barely got food for another week. That’s with rations. After that… after that it’s probably only a few days before I can’t keep going anymore”. _

***

_“Day 32. We’re out of food. The wizard woke up shortly to eat and drink a bit. He’s more, coherent than last time, but… somethings dangerously wrong with him. And I can’t fix it. Got no clue where to start” Tony sighs, leanings his head in his hands “I did find an I.V and normal glucose. So, that’s something at least. But I doubt either of us will make it home”._  
  
“As I get closer to the end, it become more obvious. More direct. More, in your face. Death screaming at you, that this? This is your last days, hours, minutes, seconds… moments. That at any point, you could take your last breath, and you wouldn’t even realize what had happened, before it was already too late” Tony shakes his head, “On titan I saw people die. People, not just dying. But realizing that they were dying. Knowing what was about to happen. But they didn’t cry or scream or beg anyone to save them. They accepted it. And… despite the fact I thought I wouldn’t be able to accept my own destiny, sitting here, watching the stars go by… I know exactly what will happen. What the next step is going to be”.  
  
“Even if I don’t like it”. 


	4. Every storm in your life is follow by a rainbow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Swinging between the buildings with ease, switching between the right and left arm. An making a few flips in the air at the top. Before letting himself crash towards the ground with incredible speed, catching himself in his webs at the last moment.  
> Flying through the air. Like nothing in the world could ever stop him.  
> But something does stop him.  
> Or, someone?  
> Something crashes at him with incredible power, throwing him off his game. No warning of what’s about to come. As he crashes towards a wall, where he with a quick movement attempts to stick, but has too much speed in his fall, as he continues to fall towards the ground.  
> No luck in shooting another web. No luck in regaining his balance. The windy sound is screeching in his ears. As the ground comes closer… and closer…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jesus, this is a moment I've waited for.

The bright white light slowly, but surely turns into a long string of color. Yellow. Orange. Green. Purple. Blue. And red. The colors of the magical stones that Thanos killed him with. But also the color of a rainbow. The color of hope, and happiness and laughter. Of life.  
  
Of life…  
  
Life?  
  
Ben always said that with great, comes great responsibility. Those are words Peter have lived by all of his life. That only grew when he became spider-man and lost Ben. A need to make sure that he’d never forgot where he came from. Or what Ben meant to him. So, he fought for the little guys. The people who couldn’t fight for themselves.  
  
That was a part of life.  
  
May was wise too. And always came up with good quotes as well. Even if they were a little different to what Ben would say. They always meant the same. The one Peter remembers the best is ‘Every storm in your life, is follow by a rainbow’. Just thinking about it, Peter can almost hear May’s soft voice, and feel her fingers run through his messy curls. Curled up on the cough at home, Ben’s too big hoodie around him. The early morning hours, of that horrible night.  
  
It was always just meant as a ‘It might be hard right now, but soon things will get better’. They always get better. And Peter never thought about it much more. Until now.  
  
Had May meant more with that quote than Peter knew? It almost felt like it, as the pain from his body, from the fight was like pulled out of his cells. As the light grew brighter. The colors going from their faded tones, to strong and powerful in Peter’s eyes.  
  
Had May known what death was like? How things turned out when your life ended? Was Peter even dead, or was this another one of those coma dreams? Had he ever truly woken up?  
  
But if he was in a coma, would he be aware of it? Or would that be a dream too?  
  
If not for the light abruptly disappearing, leaving only orange back, Peter might have kept asking the same questions over and over again. But he didn’t. Instead, he found himself soaked to the knee in water, sitting on one of the wooden chairs of midtown high. An orange light lighting everything up, giving it an orange tone. And everyone, but Peter… was sleeping?  
  
MJ was sitting at his side, head on the table. Arms folded under herself. Her skin worryingly pale, and sweaty. Breaths shallow and uneven as Peter sprung to his feet searching for a pulse, at the pules point at her neck. Only to find nothing.  
  
Not just, no pulse. But no temperature either. She didn’t feel hot. But they didn’t feel cold either. Her skins almost felt, like wax. Like this was all fakes created in wax. But why would that be? That didn’t… make any sense.  
  
Despite the obvious that they wouldn’t wake up, Peter anyways carefully, and then a little less carefully tried to shake them. Begging them to wake up.  
  
Going around from student to students. Starting with MJ, going to Betty and kept going. Finishing up with Flash. Flash who was supposed to be safe at horizon labs with his foster sister Echo Anaki and her friend William Walker. Flash, who wasn’t supposed to be here. Meaning, that Flash… Flash had dusted too.  
  
Had Echo and William dusted too? Or where they slowly panicking that Flash he turned to dust in front of their eyes, and Peter no longer was responding over the comes?  
  
After a failed attempt with every student, Peter started to move towards the classroom door. There was nothing to get at here, and Peter could only hope that they would wake up on their own. Or maybe it was better if they never did. Never got a chance to realize that they were dead now. Not that death seemed all the scary if Peter had to be honesty. But Peter was a hero. A bit of a different level than most kids his age.  
  
No, if Peter could find anyone and get them to wake up. The avengers, or… whoever of the avengers who might have been killed, would be the best beat.  
  
And so, Peter carefully pushed down the door handle, listening for the small click of the door, before pushing it open, out into the hallways of midtown high. Slowly walking down, the empty corridor, his footsteps echoing between the walls.  
  
Peter walked past the other classrooms and offices without even looking in. He didn’t want to see these people, people he knew, in this weird sleep. Peter couldn’t do anything for them. Couldn’t wake them. Couldn’t ask them for help or advice. So why event try. Why try when it wouldn’t work? Why attempt something, that had already been proven ineffective. Why?  
  
Peter didn’t stop until he walked past his locker. The beaten-up locker, with the fainted blue paint, that Peter was proud to call his for so long. It wasn’t his anymore. No, his locker was a Whitestone academy now. But? This world was already different.  
  
So Peter took a few careful steps towards the lockers. Only hesitation for a moment, before typing in his code and hearing the satisfying click of the locker opening. And was greeted with his backpack, and spider-man suit.  
  
Seeing the suit in the locker, made Peter stop to look down himself.  
  
The suit, the spandex suit and the iron spider suit, was both gone. Replaced with his normal outfit of jeans, hoodie and a nerdy shirt. And on his feet, his trust sneakers. Even if both sneakers and pants where wet to the knee. Because, they were. Peter had almost forgotten the water. The water, that seemed to stand high everywhere. All around him. Peter couldn’t blame himself. Everything else in this place was, significantly more important than the water. So, maybe that’s why he didn’t notice? Or maybe the fact, that even if he knew it now, he still didn’t actually feel it. Despite the fact his jeans should be sticking to his legs with a wet feeling. But it just wasn’t there.  
  
Peter shook his head, desperate not to think too much about the rules if this world. But it was hard to clear his mind, which felt like it was going a mile a minute. None of this made sense.  
  
The one thing that did make sense was the fact, that this, this was death. Peter was dead. And like he'd told Tony. He would get to see May and Ben again. At least so Peter hoped. He couldn’t know for sure of course. He could just as easily be stuck inside the soul stone. Caught in a prison, shaped like New York City. No way out. Ever. But Peter really didn’t like the thought of that, as he stuffed the suit into his backpack and swung it over his shoulder making it towards the door. The entrance and exit of what had once been his school.  
  
Maybe what people really should be thinking about, where the fact he ended up at midtown. Not on titan. Not at home. Not at Horizon labs. Or Whitestone academy. No. Midtown. Midtown of all places. It wasn’t a part of his life anymore. But he busted through the door anyways. A little too much speed and power, as he almost lost his balance hitting the ground in front of the school.  
  
Here too the water stood higher. Yet almost clear. No rings dancing on the surface of the liquid. No movement. No oxidation.  
  
In the parking lot, in the street in front of the school, in the pickup line. Car’s stood with water inside them. The plates blurred and pixelated, no chance of seeing what the letter and number were supposed to be. And in car after car, where more and more offers to the hell Thanos had created. Just sitting there, asleep. Kids, and students and parents.  
  
All dead and unaware of the world, just the other side of their closed eyes.  
  
Otherwise, the street where as empty as the hallways of school. It was so wrong, for the world that never sleeps. The world with that constant humming of energy. This wasn’t right.  
  
Peter took a handful, of carefully steps towards the sidewalk. Before turning right in direction of the tower. Hoping, that somehow, that would be where possibly dead Avengers would turn up. Getting to the compound would be a long, tiering walk, that Peter didn’t feel like taking right now. If there even where a compound in this world. There was no telling if there was only of copy of New York, or if it was whole the world.  
  
From the tower, not only would he be able to check if there were other heroes. But even if there wasn’t, he could climb to the top, and watch over the city. Seeing if there was anything beyond it.  
  
Tony had sold the tower shortly after Peter had become a part of his life. The tower hadn’t seemed important compared to the compound. And so, it was sold, so Peter had never been there. But he knew where it was, even if he had no idea about how it looked inside. He’d figure that out. Did this world have a Friday? A Karen? A… Jarvis? That was what the old AI was called right? Jarvis?  
  
The tower stood high in the sky, looking over the city. Only a few minutes into his walk, Peter could see it, as he turned down yet another corner.  
  
The lonely big A, surrounded by the giant circle of LED light, shined brightly as a Christmas tree, up their high. As darkness slowly fell over this version of the New York. The sun slowly going down, deep into the horizon.  
  
Peter carefully made his way towards a nearby alley. That, funny enough didn’t smell like the usually soft, yet disgusting smell of garbage, that Peter’s nose had gotten so used too.  
  
He pulled out the suit from his backpack, before stripping himself till he was only standing in his underwear. Before letting the baggy suit slide over his body, up his waist and up over his shoulders, before letting the vacuum active and the suit tightened around him. A steady pressure placed on his chest, forcing him to take deep breaths. In and out.  
  
With practiced ease he stuffed his cloth in the backpack and pulled the spandex mask over his face. Watching as the blue light of the inner display lite up. A slight relief made his shoulders slump. It had been a while since he really suited up. Sure, he fought Thanos. But, that was different. There hadn’t been the satisfying feeling of spandex against his skin.  
  
“Karen?” Peter questioned quietly, “Are you there?”.  
  
There’s a beat of silence before a quiet humming or static noise starts up inside the suit. Like someone attempts to answer but can’t. Peter sighs as he actives his web shooters and makes his way towards the tower.  
  
Swinging between the buildings with ease, switching between the right and left arm. An making a few flips in the air at the top. Before letting himself crash towards the ground with incredible speed, catching himself in his webs at the last moment.  
  
Flying through the air. Like nothing in the world could ever stop him.  
  
But something does stop him.  
  
Or, someone?  
  
Something crashes at him with incredible power, throwing him off his game. No warning of what’s about to come. As he crashes towards a wall, where he with a quick movement attempts to stick, but has too much speed in his fall, as he continues to fall towards the ground.  
  
No luck in shooting another web. No luck in regaining his balance. The windy sound is screeching in his ears. As the ground comes closer… and closer…  
  
Another hit in the side makes it even harder, but this time it isn’t just a hit. The mysteries attacker rap his right arm under Peter’s arm, holding him up. As the stranger let’s go of his own web, landing them both on a nearby rooftop.  
  
As they land, Peter stumbles. The air getting knocked out of him, as he lands on his back. He stays down, just waiting for the attacker to attack again. But there doesn’t happen.  
  
With careful hands Peter pulls off the spandex mask, grasping for hair. His forehead already covered in sweat, as he feels his curls stick to his skin.  
  
The sun has gone completely down now. A sky of stars looking down at him. Making Peter aware that, there isn’t any power or light in this crazy version of New York. It’s… pretty.  
  
A somewhat friendly voice calls out to him, a hand being stretched out to him, as Peter carefully moves his attention to the attacked. “Going to the tower won’t help you. Trust, I’ve been there. We’re the only two people alive”. The voice is slightly deep. Older than Peter’s, yet, oddly similar.  
  
And sure enough. Peter stares up into the eyes of another Spider-man. The suits eyes are still, unanimated. The web like pattern that crawls up the suit is more 3D. More pupping than Peter’s own. It’s cool, but now quite as high tech and Peter’s.  
  
The Spider carefully pulls of his own mask. Revealing an older looking Peter. Slick hair, with too much wax in makes it look fancy.  
  
Peter hesitates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... what ya thinking?


	5. Only in the darkness can you see the stars

_The blaring alarms are echoing through the ship, the red light blinking in the dark cockpit. Tony’s feels weak but fights against it to push himself up and move to the control panel. Swiping to the side, and letting the alarm stop. ‘Low O2’ blinking back at him with bright red letters. In a warning on the screens. This is the end.  
  
Tony has known right from the beginning that air would be what killed him.  
  
A human can go for quite some time without food, or water. Sleep isn’t important. Fun isn’t important. Moving around isn’t important. But air is. Air will always be important. And lack of air? That will kill you. Fast. Minutes, if your strong. Seconds, if I’ve been starved for days. Weeks.  
  
Now their almost out of air. Only the cape will survive to tell the story of their battle against Thanos. Of what they had to give. Of what they saw and did.  
  
Tony will be gone. Stephen will the gone. The guardians will be gone.  
  
Peter will be gone.  
  
And so, Tony does the only thing he can do. He sites down. The helmet turned towards him, like so many times before over the last few weeks. The blue light and Friday’s soft voice keeping him company. Recording one last message for the love of his life.  
  
“Is this thing on?” Tony ask quietly. “Hey miss Pott’s. Miss Stark. If you find this recording, don’t post it to social media. It’s gonna be a real tearjerker” Tony shakes his head, “I don’t know if your ever going to see these… I don’t even know if you still…” Tony can’t get himself to stay it as he close his eyes for just a moment. Peter’s brown eyes hunting him in the darkness.  
  
“Oh god I hope so” Tony clear’s his throat with a loud cough, “Today is day… 33? No. 34. You know, if it wasn’t for the existential terror of staring into the literal void of space, I’d say I’m feeling a little better today” Tony knows he’s going to die, that soon the pain will go away. That things will change. It makes it easier. “Physically anyways. The broken ribs and bones, and cuts and… all the is gone. Mostly healed. Now it’s… it’s just” Tony tapes his head, “in here”.  
  
“So the fuel cells were cracked during battle, and I figured out a way to reverse the ion charge and buy us about 48 hours of flight time. But it’s now dead, thousand of lightyears from the nearest, SevenEleven” Tony takes a deep breath. “You already know that. I explained that to you already…”  
  
“Oxygen will run out tomorrow morning. The alarm earlier? That was our last warning. When we run out, that will be it. And Pepper… I know, I know I said I’d keep fighting for the kid. For you… I’m not sure I can do that anymore. Despite that, I gotta say I was really hoping to pull off one last surprise. But it looks like, that wont happen…”.  
  
“Don’t feel bad about this. This isn’t your fault. It’s mine. Hundred percent mine. Keep going for me, and for Peter. And, please know. When I drift, I’ll dream about you. It’s always about you”._

***

Rhodey moves slowly, the mechanical legs need a once over. Badly. But he hasn’t gotten the chance yet. Not since everything happened. Partly because it did happen, partly because Tony hasn’t been around, and lately because of the young woman who’s been sticking to his side like glue since it happened. Wanda is broken over the death of vision. Rhodey doesn’t blame her.  
  
The other are waiting outside the med bay where Tony is, Pepper by his side, when Rhodey comes out. Waiting for news. Preferably good news.  
  
“Bruce gave him a sedative” Rhodey quietly informs them, “He’ll be out for the rest of the day. Likely for the better. You know how Tony can get. And things aren’t easy right now”.  
  
Carol Danvers, a legend in Rhodey’s work. In military work, has decided to join them. She’s the only reason Rhodey didn’t lose Tony for good this time. His best friend had been hours away from the end. “You take care of him. I’ll be back soon enough”.  
  
“Where are you going?” Steve asks as Carol turns her back on them and walks.  
  
“To kill Thanos” she response, not even caring to look back. She’s strong than all of them. Stronger and more powerful. And she knows it. She act’s like she’s above them. Maybe she is.  
  
“Hey!” Natasha calls after her, taking quick steps to caught up. Her red hair bouncing on her shoulders. “We usually work as a team here, and between you and I, morals are a little fragile”. The civil war is still living and breathing in every drop of blood in their body. Still living in Tony, despite the newly found trust in Bucky. That’s all thanks to the kid.  
  
“We realize up there is more you territory than ours, but this is our fight too” Steve shots in.  
  
Rhodey walks slowly behind them, watching from a distance “Do you even know where he is? Where he could be? Could go?”.  
  
Carol shrugs, “I know people who might” she sighs, “and your friend said something about a garden. That might take us a step closer to figure it out. At least, so I hope”.  
  
“I might have a theory” Bruce’s voice is hesitant, scared. Bruce has always been strong, even as Bruce. His lack of hulk had killed the strong spirit in Wakanda. A kind of blame for him not being good enough to take on Thanos. They always blamed themselves. Even Rhodey did. Tony had told him about the battle, if Rhodey hadn’t stuck around on earth, things might have gone differently. Their plan might have worked. Peter wouldn’t have been hurt. Peter, wouldn’t have been dead. And he’d get to be a big brother. God, how hadn’t Rhodey notice Pepper was pregnant?  
  
“When Thanos snapped his fingers, a big power shrug of cosmic proportions was slug out into the universe. Nothing like it has ever been seen before. Until now” Friday pulls up a hologram showing a different, very green planet, with another power shrug.  
  
“Wait” Natasha almost freezes “Why would he use the stones again?”.  
  
Steve places a careful hand on her shoulder, trying to make her calm as her hands starts to shake just slightly. To the normal person it would be nothing. Steve knows differently. “We’ll figure it out. Together”.  
  
“I’ll get us a ship” Carol says, new determination in her voice. “Give me a day. Max”.

***

The ship looks like it’s seen better days. The red and white paint job is slowly fading and chipping off, but Captain Marvel can fly. She doesn’t need a ship. The fact she’s got one is amazing in itself. It means they don’t have to fix the one Tony arrived in. A ship that could be unreliable and die at any moment. Carol’s ship is at least, in fully functional order. That’s all anyone can really ask for.  
  
“Are we sure this is safe?” Clint asks from the sideline, as they get ready to go onboard. Grabbing food and weapons for the trip and fight.  
  
Carols look at Clint with disappointment. “It might look old, but it’s upgraded with some of the best technology you can find in space. Hyperdrive, rocket’s. Even a decent defense system”.  
  
“Just get on board Clint” Natasha gives up a shoulder bump. It’s a joke. A small joke to lighten the mood of the team. Clint doesn’t laugh but does let some of the stress seep out of his shoulders as he with careful steps make it onto the ship. Bow in hand.  
  
There isn’t a lot of seats on the ship, and so most of the team makes themselves comfortable on the floor. Up against walls. Carol in the cockpit. Rhodey joins her, taking the seat of second pilot. Even though one isn’t needed.  
  
As Steve take his own seat, he says what everyone is too afraid of saying. “Thanos still has the stones, this trip, might be our last. We lost to him once, we likely will again”.  
  
“One, last time you guys didn’t have me” Carol points out, spinning in the chair. “Secondly. We can go in, take the stones and use them to get everyone back. Snap our own fingers”.  
  
“Woah, woah! If you really think you where the missing piece to defeating Thanos, then where were you when we need you?” It’s Thor’s voice that asks. Anger clear in it. “Were where you, when we lost?”.  
  
“Hey! There’s a lot of worlds that needs heros. Unlikely for them, they don’t have you guys” Carol points out. “They only got me. You try and protect a whole universe”.  
  
“Enough of that” Steve shots in, “We aren’t going to win unless we work together”.  
  
“We don’t even know her” Thor points out. “Just comes here and thinks she’s some sort of savior. Your not-“  
  
“Ey!” Natasha cuts in, standing between Carol and Thor. “I get it. Lack of trust. All that. We tired that before, during the civil war. Not very fun. So a least pretend to be able to work together, so we can win this thing” Natasha looks between the two, “We all owe that to everyone who isn’t in this room to try”. Thor settles down with a grump. “Will T’challa, Wanda and Loki be joining us?”.  
  
Bruce shakes his head, “No, their not feeling ready. It’s fair enough. So it’s just the ‘OG’s like uh… Pete would call it. And Rhodey and Carol of course”.  
  
“How did Tony even find that kid? Ever told any of you?” Steve looks around. “I’m just curious. It’s not everyday you see enhanced teens running around New York city”.  
  
“If only you knew” Clints says, “Shield got their secrets”.  
  
“If you cut the chatter we an get going” Carol says loudly, indicating take off. It’s bumpy. Getting through the atmosphere of earth is harder than it looks, and most of the team seems like their about to throw up, but manages to keep it in. Though it’s clear to Rhodey that Bruce had a rupture eardrum. The look on his face and the quite swearing is enough to put the diagnosis. But the few drops of blood doesn’t help.  
  
“Approaching jump in 3, 2, 1” Carol calls out as a shrugs of energy flies through the ship. Rhodey can feels his stomach twisting, as the ships accelerates. But it’s worth it. The look outside the windows is amazing. An orange light right in front of them - the light at the end of the tunnel - and all around them blue strips of star light, as they shot by them as high speed. But it stops just as fast as it came. In just seconds the ships comes to a standstill in front of a planet, that surely isn’t earth. The light disappearing, like it was never there in the first place.  
  
Carol jumps out the ship almost right away to do recon, joined by Thor who exclaims loudly ‘I like this one’ before they both left. Leaving rest of the team in the silence of space.  
  
The planet is a lot like earth, but greener. Less broken. The fact that life isn’t a thing here, clearly having saved the planet from the same destiny as the one earth has encountered. Global warming. Alien attacks. This planet has gotten it easy in comparison.  
  
Bruce, Clint, Rhodey… they all say nothing. Just get’s ready. Suit’s up.  
  
Bruce is ready to jump in the hulk buster armor the second the get the green light. Hulk still isn’t showing himself, and all Bruce can feel where hulk used to be, is anxiety and fear.  
  
Clint is always ready, but his demeanor has changed. This has always been his job, but… this mission seems like so much more. And with good reason. His kids are gone. Dead.  
  
And Rhodey… Rhodey himself doesn’t need much time to prepare. The armor stands ready by his side, as he and the others leave Steve and Natasha on their own in the front of the cockpit. The blue and red of Steve’s shield is beautiful in the light of space. Natasha red hair almost glowing. Rhodey’s glad she didn’t end up coloring it like she’d planned too.  
  
The quite click can be heard as Steve closes his pocket watch. Indicating that he’d once again found himself lost in the past. Staring at Peggy with her careful yet powerful smile. Giving his life had been hard for Steve, but needed. He was ready to give everything he had to save earth.  
  
“This is gonna work, Steve” Natasha says quietly, “At the very least their life’s wouldn’t have been given in vain. No, their life’s would have been given for the great good”.  
  
Steve nods slowly, “I know it will” he looks to Natasha “Cause I don’t know what I’m gonna do if it doesn’t” he turns around walking to meet the others, but looks over his shoulder first “Thanks”.  
  
Carol and Thor is back quickly. “No satellites. No ships. No Armies. He’s alone”.  
  
“That’s all we need” Clint says with a growl, grabbing and arrow and placing it to his bow. Bruce makes a last attempt to wake up hulk. Rhodey steps into the suit, Charing the repulses. Natasha doublet checks her gone. Steve tightens his grip of the shield. Carol let’s herself glow brighter. Thor shows the lightning of his hammer off.  
  
Thor’s new hammer, Stormbreaker it’s called is giant. Shining in the light of the stars. It’s different in a good way, that Rhodey can’t quite put his finger on. The power, the confident the weapons gives Thor, it’s good to see after Thor’s mother was killed. After he though he lost his brother. It’s a contrast that Rhodey didn’t know a God could show.  
  
“Then let’s go” Rhodey says with a smile.


	6. Everything means nothing

The birds are chippering loudly in the thick, and deep forest. The distance sound of nearby waterfall can be heard. The water splashing in the deep river. Around The forestry is greener than anything Rhodey has ever seen, emerald green. And thinking about that fact that this, this could be earth before humans came… hurt in a weird way.  
  
The sun is shining over the sandy and dirty mountains. The untouched stone, in it’s pale gray tone is going up steep into the top of the mountain, and even the best climber, wouldn’t be able to get up. Or down.  
  
The heat made being in the suit incredibly hot. His hair despite being short, stuck to his forehead. And he would imagen everyone else to feel the same way. Or, was that just PTSD? The attack during whole the mandarin satiation had been, scary. The heat quickly spreading through the suit. His body burning and aching as he finally gave in.  
  
It didn’t help that they had landed a few miles from the place, hoping that if they didn’t fly in, that they could attack Thanos without him realizing what had happened. In hopes that if they didn’t fly, he wouldn’t realize that they were coming. He had the stones after all, he could kill them or worse with a snap of his fingers. The only exception to the flying rules where Carol, since her ability to fly didn’t make a sound, and was vital in not getting lost.  
  
Thanos wooden house with the thatched roof was built in a small opening in the forest. A bigger field opening in the front of it. The team was observing from a distance, hiding in the edge of the forest as Thanos walked. Calmly, relaxed around. Like it hadn’t just been war weeks earlier.  
  
His armor was discarded, now hanging and acting like a big, heavy, shiny scarecrow. Replaced by a thin layer of cloth, hanging loosely around his body.  
  
Thanos was walking carefully around the fields, the orange fruits - Was that a mango? - and flowers that next to Rhodey looked giant, seem a normal size around him. As he pulled each fruit from its base of the flower head. The fruit letting go without any force. And with ease placed it in a nearby bag, before picking it up with his good hand.  
  
Because his left hand, the one he’d snapped with, was burned and broken. The raw flesh clear even from a distance. His face wasn’t much better, half of it black and charred. And the thin cloth had been cut short, as to not disturb his burned shoulder.  
  
As Thanos took the last few steps into his house, up the wooden stairs, the team got ready for their attack. Planning out the last few details.  
  
Carol went first. At full speed she went against the house, lasers of pure energy and power shotting towards the giant. Before a loud chocking noise came from inside. But Rhodey was unable to see what she’d done.  
  
From below the house went Bruce. The hulk booster breaking through the floor, wood splintering into the air. And that was Rhodey’s sign to go.  
  
Rhodey flew through the wall as the opposite side, to find Bruce holding Thanos left hand and Carol around Thano’s neck. And Rhodey easily took a hold of Thanos right hand as well, before Thor with all of his raw power, crashed through a wall. Stormbreaker slicing through Thanos left arm. The metallic thud echoed in the air, as the gauntlet covered arm crashed to the floor.  
  
Rest of the team, Steve Natasha and Clint walked through Thanos’ door, power clear in their shoulders. And Clint moved forward, with his foot turning over the gauntlet. To find…  
  
… nothing.  
  
The gauntlet was an empty piece of golden metal.  
  
Carol tightens her grip around Thanos neck, as the team looked back and forth to each other. “Where are they?” Steve questioned, his serious voice, holding no weakness. No place for negotiations. Just power. Power and strength.  
  
As Thanos doesn’t answer Carol grabs her grip even tighter as the growls, “Answer the question”.  
  
Thanos wheezes as he attempts to pull air into his lungs. Carol only losing her grip slightly has he chocks out a desperate cough. “The universe need correction” he somehow manages to rasp out in a whisper. “After that, the stone served no purpose beyond temptations. No power”.  
  
“Your killed trillions of people!” Bruce sounds angry. Almost as angry as hulk would have. And Rhodey can almost see a green tint around Bruce’s neck, despite the armor.  
  
It’s followed with a push, causing Rhodey to lose his grip and Thanos’ crashes to the ground. Carol is slug of, falling to the ground as well. Her head bouncing on the wooden floor, but she is fast to push herself on the elbows.  
  
Thanos let’s out a tight shuttered breath, as the hulk armor hits him with full power in his head. “You should be grateful” he says. “I saved the universe”.  
  
Natasha takes a few steps forward, a hand on Bruce’s metallic arm, “Where are the stone’s?” she asks again. Voice cold and icy. Filled with venom,  
  
“Gone. Reduced to atoms”.  
  
“That can’t be!” Bruce growls, “You used them just hours ago”.  
  
Thanos chukels weakly, as he attempts to push himself up from the wooden floor. “I used the stone, to destroy the stone. Nothing more. Nothing less. And it nearly killed me. But the work is done. It always will be. Cause I am inevitable”.  
  
“Bruce” Steve’s voice is stiff, emotionless, “Can you scan for the stone?”.  
  
Bruce looks to Steve with a nod in silence, but only seconds later he shakes his head. “He isn’t lying. He destroyed the stones”.  
  
Before anything can say or do anything, Thor shots up front. Stormbreaker in mid swing. Just as easily as it slid through Thano’s arm, it goes through his neck as well. The head falling to the ground. “Always go for the head” he says quietly, turning around and with quick steps leaving the now broken building, that Thano’s had called home.  
  
The team looks to him as he walks out. Looks between each other, and back to the empty gauntlet. Their only hope, broken and empty on the floor. Their only chance in getting back what they’d lost. Their last hope.  
  
It’s in silence as the team, one by one walks down the wooden steps. Quiet thuds. Slow movement. The only thing that can be heard in the quiet breaths.  
  
The once sunny sky is gray, filled with heavy clouds as Rhodey steps out himself. He quietly thanks Tony for making sure the suit is waterproof, as he walks through the forest. Following rest of the team, as rain slowly starts to drip from the dark sky. And soon enough the sky opens up, liters of water falling over the quite ground, as the team returns to the ship, hidden in the forest.  
  
Rhodey let’s the suit open in the front, stepping out of the thick metal shell. The leg braces reactivate almost instantly, but Rhodey can feel the lack of balance for just a second, before he regains it, and walks onboard the ship.  
  
It’s quite as the team finds back into their seats. As they sit down.  
  
It’s silenced as they travel through space, through the light, back towards earth. But it isn’t as bright this time around. ‘Due to recent cutbacks and until future notice, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off’ a voice inside Rhodey’s head jokes.  
  
All hope is lost as they step off, to see worried eyes from Pepper standing in the door, ready to force them inside and down to the med bay. In to get check over. In to get food.  
  
There’s sadness as they see Tony’s weak body sitting in the hospital bed. Eyes red rimmed, dark circles under his eyes.  
  
They lost.

***

Rhodey doesn’t talk for a long while. Just site’s there next to Tony in the living room, a new I.V bag placed in his friends, skinny, pale arm. The weakness of his body becoming clearer now that they’d lost again. Once more they’d failed.  
  
Tony hadn’t even been there, yet the guilt and dread was growing in his dark mind. No baby, no Pepper could change the fact, that the Avengers had failed once more. Against their biggest villain. No chance of doing it over. No second chance of fixing things. In moments like those, like these… everything means nothing.  
  
Everything they could do, everything they could try, everything they could attempt meant nothing. Nothing could bring back what’s they’d lost. What everyone had lost.  
  
Family members. Friends. Colleges. Teachers. Wife, husbands, people in love, and people not in love. All gone. Turned to dust. No way to reverse the damage. No way to undo it. No way to bring any of them back. No trail. No challenge. No anything. No hero could ever get them back. No hero, no matter how strong… could ever succeed in getting them back. No hero was pure enough. No hero was enough. Could be enough, to get them back.  
  
Everything means nothing compared to everything they had to do. All the paperwork because of the accords. All the funerals, all the search parties. All the meetings with the press. All the explanation, all the apologies that they had to give. That never-ending stream of apologies.  
  
Everything they had to do, felt meaningless. It meant nothing to them. Nothing but pain. It was like people didn’t see hero’s for the people they were under the suit of armor. Under the fancy paintjob, and guns. All the acrobatic moves and jumps. The flips in the air. All they saw was the hero. They didn’t see the family they had to protect, or the family they lost.  
  
“Why did you go without me?” Tony’s voice is weak, and it’s clear he’s been crying quietly not that long ago. “Why did you go fight him without me?”.  
  
“You were weak Tony. Recovering after your own fight against him” Rhodey carefully points out. “And if we’d waited, who’s to say Thanos would still have been there? He could have left. Gone to a different planet, with no way for us to track him. No clue how to get to him. Do you understand that Tony? We couldn’t let him go if we had the smallest chance of getting people back… couldn’t… couldn’t let you get that hope and see you break all over again”.  
  
Tony nods, his hands fidgeting with quick movements. “I fought him. I could have helped. Could have told you how he fights” Tony looks up from the floor for the first time since Rhodey and the team returned, “What if he still had the stones? What if he snapped you, the team… the rest of us out of existence too?” Tony voice breaks in a sob, before he continues with a stutter “what if I’d lost you like I lost the kid? I can’t lose you too… not you too”.  
  
“That didn’t happen Tony, okay? I’m right here. Breath for me, okay?” Rhodey asks quietly, as Tony’s breath picks up. “In and out Tony. It’s okay. I’m okay. Pepper’s okay. We are okay”.  
  
They fall back into the quietness. Breathing carefully in and out together. Deep breaths. “I keep seeing him” Tony whispers, “I keep seeing him in my dreams. Him begging not to go, begging for me to save him” he shakes his head slightly, “That isn’t what happened. He didn’t beg, he accepted. But…”.  
  
“But you keep seeing him beg” Rhodey finishes off carefully. “The people I lost in war? My friends? In the military. They knew the risk. Knew they could die. They had accepted that early on, going into it. Didn’t beg. Just let things happens. Peter was a strong kid, he might have done the same”.  
  
Tony shakes his head, violently this time. “Peter wouldn’t accept death. He’d stay, for May!” something in Tony’s face breaks. “For me”.  
  
Rhodey places a careful hand on Tony’s shoulder, squeezing tight. “I know. But May was long gone. Maybe, Peter just wanted to go home, find peace. Stop hurting. But all of that means nothing now, he’s gone, but you are not. And right next door you got a fiancé with a little baby girl growing inside of her, who’ll need you. Not Iron man. Not drunk Tony Stark. But the father that Peter showed us all, lives right in here” Rhodey places a hand on Tony’s chest, as Tony dries a few tears from his eyes before sending Rhodey a tight, small smile. It’s a step in the right direction.  
  
“I once told him that my death would be on me” Tony whispers, “That isn’t fatherly”.  
  
Rhodey nods, Tony had told him before. “That changed”.  
  
Tony nods carefully. “Thank you”.  
  
“Always” Rhodey smiles, as Friday informs Tony’s he’s needed elsewhere. It’s with a sigh and a hurt look to Tony that he pushed to his feet. Pretending to pep up and get ready to whoever wants to talk to him. 

***

Stephens eye’s feels heavy as he forces them open slowly. Carefully. The bli  
nding light of the celling lights shining brightly from above, creeping into his eyes, forcing him to squeeze them shut. Attempting to take deep breaths, figuring out what happened.  
With a few careful breaths, he pushed himself up in the bed. Alarms blaring in his ears. “Stay down sir. We need to check you over”. But Stephen doesn’t listen. He forces himself on his feet, pushing the Asian looking woman away from him. Making his way towards the door with shaky steps. Down the hallways, corridors. Someone calling out for him, close behind.  
  
“Stark” Stephen mumbles “I need to see Stark”.  
  
The woman caught up with him, “If you let me check you over, I’ll call Stark down here”. As if something falls into places in Stephens brain, he let’s himself slump against the woman, going with her back to the med bay. Letting her do her once over.  
  
“Strange?” Tony voice calls out as he enters the med bay room soon after. “Good to see you awake. Do you actually remember what happened this time around?”.  
  
Stephen nods carefully. “I gave him the stone. He snapped half the universe out of existence”.  
  
“Close enough” Tony nods, “We lost”.  
  
Stephen takes a deep breath. He knew that. He knew they’d lost. But, not really. They hadn’t lost yet. “What about… Wong?”.  
  
“He…” Tony shakes his head, “He didn’t make it. We lost a lot of heroes.  
  
Stephens looks up, “The kid?” ‘he’s important’ a small voice in the back of his head reminds him. ‘He’s the key’. Stephen knows. He’s seen it. ‘There’s one-‘.  
  
Tony’s silence is all he needs in reply. The kid’s gone.  
  
Stephen is not.  
  
Stephen should be.  
  
Stephen wishes he were.


	7. Nothing spells shame like living what feels like a double life

Peter hesitates.  
  
Peter hesitates as the older man reached a handout for Peter to take. His brown eyes staring into Peter’s too brown eyes. “I… W-W-Who are you?”.  
  
“Peter Benjamin Toby Parker” the older man chuckles, “Spider-man of earth 616. And you must be Peter Benjamin Parker Stark from earth 199998?”. The man looks at Peter with questioning eyes. Something unreadable deep inside them, but their soft at the same time.  
  
“I…” Peter bites himself in the lip, “Are you talking about the multiverse? Because, that’s supposed to be theoretical right, but if it’s real that completely changes how we understand the initial singularity deceasing-“ Peter cuts himself off looking at the older boy. “Sorry. That’s, so cool”.  
  
The older Peter smiles carefully and shakes his head, “Don’t ever apologize for being the smartest one in the room, Pete” he says with a smile but stops himself. “Just tell me you didn’t give yourself spider powers, right?”.  
  
“No, of course not! There where this fieldtrip to Oscorp and… you already know this?” Peter asks.  
  
There’s a tight nod, “I do. Radioactive spider bite. A week of sickness and then waking up with these, incredible abilities? Super strength, enhanced sense, agility, organic web-“  
  
“Woah, wait a second. Your web is organic!?” Peter exclaims “That’s so cool. I created mine in a lab after I got my powers”, he says carefully clicking the web shooters off handing them to the older man who takes them and looks them over.  
  
There’s a lifted eyebrow as he looks over the web shooters mechanics. “You created these at age what? 16? 17? That’s impressive”.  
  
“Age 14 actually” Peter corrects, “Freshman year. I created it in the chemistry lab in school. Midtown high school of science and technology just 6 months before I meet Tony… uh… right after Ben was killed”.  
  
The older Peter nods, “Oh yes. The famous Ben Parker. He was a good man, strong, good hearted. He always helped out, and he always taught me to do the same” he shakes his head lightly, throwing the web shooters back to Peter with ease and he joins him on the roof top crossing his leg’s under him. “A bullet to the abdomen. He was picking me up that night… he shouldn’t have been there. He and May had date night, but he came when I called anyways”.  
  
“I ran away” Peter says looking into the ground, “The accords had just popped up for the first time. Warnings all over the place, that mutants, that heroes who didn’t sign would be placed on the raft, a prison for superhumans. I wanted to protect him and May by leaving their life”.  
  
“Instead, Ben was shot, giving his life for yours?” Peter B. T. Parker guess, and Peter nods. Not lifting his eyes from the stop on the ground. “Bleeding out in your arms while reminding you that with great power’s comes great responsibility?”.  
  
Peter gives a tight nod, “I had to make Ben’s memory live on” he points out. “No way in hell was I going to live my life with guilt. Ben gave his life for me, and I had to make the best of it. No matter the cost. At least… so I though. And then May died last December. Hit and run. I didn’t go in the suit for real until Thanos showed up”.  
  
“That’s how you got to live with Stark, I always wonder how it happened. Anyways, one. Call me Toby, it makes things a hell of a lot easier for the readers-“.  
  
“Readers?” Peter questions, “What do you mean readers?”.  
  
“Oh you won’t believe me, but that’s a story for another time” Toby says with a smile, “I hope I didn’t hurt you in that fall, because we need to swing to get to my secret hideout”. Toby says, jumping to his feet, once again reaching out a hand to help Peter up. This time Peter takes it.  
  
For a moment, they quietly stick to each other through the suits, with a small and a laugh as they unstick, and Peter moves carefully getting a feel for how his body seems.  
  
“I might have a broken rib” Peter says carefully, “I’ve swung with worse though, it should be healed up in a few hours. Enhanced healing and all”.  
  
Toby looks at Peter with disapproval, “And what do you call that, genius. Your bleeding!”. And sure enough, Peter’s suit is slowly turning dark red as blood seeps into the spandex. But Peter can’t feel it. There’s not pain from the spot. Letting the vacuum out the suit and falling so it hangs around his hips, a wound in his chest is revealed. Peter let’s his fingers run over it, the skin a littler paler than it should be right in that spot.  
  
“That would be from my fight against Thanos” Peter says, “I honestly didn’t realize until now. It doesn’t even hurt”.  
  
Toby looks confused for a moment, and then moves to inspect the wound as well. “People’s injuries usually disappear when they come here. You got to keep an eye on that and let me know if you need a break. My hideout it not too far”. Peter gives a tight nod, and Toby gives a slight helping hand to pull the suit back on. The vacuum once again tightening around Peter’s chest.  
  
They both pull back on the suit mask, the light spandex of Peter’s sliding on easily, with Toby’s thicker suit needing a little extra help before it gets on correctly. If Toby’s eyes could widen, they would have. “Your eyes are animated?!”.  
  
Peter blinks at him before realizing what’s he’s talking about and nods. “It’s a Tony Stark touch”.  
  
Toby nods too but shakes his head. Making a face under his mask, that Peter can’t red. But it’s clear Toby thinks that the Tony Stark thing is a little too much. But soon enough that’s all forgotten as Toby jumps sideways of the building and starts swinging at rapid speed. Peter shakes his head with a smile before he too jumps. Letting the wind fly past him, pushing against him. Letting himself fall towards the ground, watching as Toby lands on the side of a building, before shooting out a web, making a giant swing into the air, flips and let’s himself leap forwards. Repeating the same stunt again as Toby looks from the sideline. Toby soon follows troop as well.  
  
Each swing become bigger, more dangerous, but also funnier and funnier. As they let themselves swing a little higher, or fall a little future towards the ground.  
  
They swing by the tower, standing high in the city. Landing at the top of it, before jumping down together. Swinging down a nearby street, taking route towards the Central Park Tower. One of the biggest buildings in Manhattan, almost competing with the Avengers tower.  
  
Peter has spend many late nights on the top of the building after Ben’s death. It’s was an easy please to hide, no one ever found him. And… it was one of the few places where Peter could jump and not wake up the next day, if that was what he felt like. Not that he ever took it that far, but he’s been standing at the very edge, the only thing keeping him standing at the top, being his ability to stick, and the fear of what might happen to May.  
  
The night where Flash had jumped, Peter had been standing on that tower too. Had seen the kid on the edge of the roof, and he swung down to help. At that point he didn’t know it was Flash, but he didn’t regret what he did one bit.  
  
That didn’t mean it hadn’t been scary. He’d stopped by the compound earlier that day, Happy had thrown him off a little future away from Queens. That’s the only reason he saw what Flash was doing. If he hadn’t been as the compound, getting checked over after Flash’s friends beat him up, he wouldn’t have stopped Flash. Wouldn’t have saved him.  
  
That was a scary reality.  
  
“Your thinking about something” Toby states as they both land on the top of the Central Park tower. Looking out over the city that they both call home. “You okay?”.  
  
Peter gives a careful nod, “Yeah. I just… though about a friend”.  
  
“You’re scared how they might react to you being gone?” Toby asks, placing a careful hand on Peter’s shoulder, squeezing it tight. “I where too when I first got here. It’s normal”.  
  
Peter shakes his head, “No… Uh… He jumped from a building at the edge of Brooklyn. I saw him from here. This tower. If I hadn’t been here that night, he wouldn’t have made it… I just… It’s hard to think about. I never really returned to the suit after that night”.  
  
Toby pushes Peter on his way inside, through a door at the top floor. “I’m sure Ben would have been proud of you” there’s almost the sounder of laughter to his voice. “Let me guess. Ned?” Peter shakes his head. “Gwen?” Peter just looks at him with confusion. “Mary Jane? MJ? Michelle?”. Peter just huffs at the guess. MJ would never do anything like that, and they both know it. “Harry then. It gotta be Harry. At least is sounds like something Harry would do. It’s an Osborn thing. Dammit that kid”.  
  
“You know Harry Osborn?” Peter asked shocked, and Toby nods. “I don’t. I… eh. At least not really. I saw something through, during the coma. It was, it was the fieldtrip all over again. But with Harry Osborn there! Knowing me, my name. Everything”.  
  
Toby sighs, “That’s what we’re here to talk about, actually. The coma”.  
  
Peter let’s the mechanical eyes open wide, mimicking his face underneath the mask. “You know about it?” He askes shocked. “Or like… know anything that I don’t?”.  
  
“I think we both know that there was something more to that coma” Toby points out pulling the mask off, as they enter a small room. That looks quite a bit like a lab. Not Tony Stark size, but good enough. Better than what school’s could ever do. Though, Nasa could probably still do better.  
  
Peter nods absently at Toby’s words, moving to explore the tech scattered around lab tables and the floor. “I guess so” he says carefully.  
  
Toby let’s off a small laugh, “Well, I know so. And please don’t touch that”.  
  
Let is running his fingers over a small golden amulet. A blue light shining from it. And spikes in all four corners. “If your about to tell me this is a dangerous multiverse machine, then you’re a lot like Echo” Toby looks confused to Peter, “Eh… a friend from school”.  
  
“Well, it is a dangerous multiverse machine, and possibly what caused you and me to talk in the first place” Toby says carefully, “It’s called the Siege Perilous, and was used by Peter Parker from earth 12041. The ultimate universe” he explains, “But that can all wait. You need to get that wound looked at, get a shower, switch your cloths. And then go to bed. You must be exhausted after all the fighting”.  
  
Peter moves to shake his head, “Actually-“ but just then it hits him. Going to space, Thanos, Dr. Strange, dying, leaving Tony behind and waking up here? Were ever here is. It all hits him, like lightning. His body so badly wanting to stop, let go, sleep. The tiredness clear in his eyes, as he pulls the mask off. “Uh… got any food in this… place?”.  
  
Toby nods, “We do. But let’s take a look at the wound first. Then you can eat and your enhanced healing can set it while you sleep. Because-“.  
  
“You always heal better when you sleep” Peter finishes off, letting the spider-suit fall off completely this time as the vacuum leaves it. The tight feeling around his chest, and the spandex sticking to his body finally coming off. Toby throws him a nearby hoodie that’s way to big, but better than nothing and soon Peter is pushed to sit down at one of the tables.  
  
Toby grabs a few things from some shelf and moves to clean the gapping hole in Peter’s chest. But at least it’s no longer bleeding. Just ever so slowly binding itself together in front of Peter’s eyes. “I don’t got a lot of medical gear here, I don’t need it much” Toby says apologetically. “Can you stand getting sew up without any painkillers or do you want me to get some first?”.  
  
Peter shakes his head, “I should be fine”.  
  
He soon regrets those words. Toby doesn’t just have a lack of medical gear, but also a lack of medical training. It’s clear to feel, as with each strand of tread used sewing the wound together, is painful and rough in placement. But other than a little groaning, and Peter biting down on his tung, things seem to go alright.  
  
Soon him and Toby is eating dinner, sticking to the celling in each their corner. Hanging head down, their hair hanging down in long strands. Laughing and sharing stories about their time as Spider-man, in the universe they come from. 616 and 199998.


	8. (With a heavy heart) - Haitues

It’s with a heavy heart that I from today, the 11 February 2021 sadly has to put this story on hiatus.  
I won’t go into too many details right now, but as things currently stands I don’t have any energy left to keep the story going. Despite lots of ideas that I want to work on in the future, sadly, for now, this is where I’ll have to end it… just for a little bit.  
I live with a mental disorder called autism, and lots of people with ASD (autism spectrum disorder) is often more susceptible to other mental illnesses. Like anxiety and depression… which seems to have hit me.  
I’m hoping with the winter break in front of me, and the change education that me, my parents, my UUV and my contact of support person is currently working on, that I’ll be able to return to the story in the near future. But I can feel myself break down, more and more for each day. As it gets harder and harder to get out of bed, and as life seems more and more gray.  
I’m hoping this won’t be the end… but I can’t promise anything…  
I’m sorry.


	9. It’s hard to wake up from a nightmare if your aren’t even asleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not back. Not really at least, not yet. I've had seven chapters just, laying around for a while, not posting them. I will, over the upcoming weeks, hoping that when that's done I'm ready to finish this story up. But with how things are looking right now... I doubt that will, actually happen. I mean, I'll finish it, promise there. But I'm feeling so, so bad mentally. Incapable of doing anything, but... idk... I just... I... it's just... I'm... I'm sorry...
> 
> This chapter has a lot of throwbacks to "Not by blood". Biggest reference points is: Chapter 24, Save me from my reality. Chapter 17, Not by Blood but still our son. Chapter 34, I did not wake up today to be average. And last, but not least, chapter 42, A part of the journey is the once we lose.

_Tony can feel the panic spick in his body, the suit making him feel so capture right in this moment. He shouldn’t panic, really, he should care at all, it’s not like he knows the kid. Not well at least. He’s just that helping hand they need to get the roughs to stand down. Not that it worked. Thanks to Tony’s not so genius plan.  
  
Yet seeing the kid, swinging in the air by a giant’s man’s arm, only to be struck by it, thrown into the cold, hard ground. That hurt. That hurts a lot. And Tony can feel his breath gasp, can hear Friday reminding him to breath, as the kid goes down.  
  
Tony can’t breathe until he at full thrust has made it too the ground. Having to take a few quick steps as he lands, as to not tumble over and all himself. The metallic clicking echo’s through the suit. Loudly. The vibrations of the landing making his whole-body shake, but it’s worth it as he makes it too the kid faster. Getting a chance to see if he’s alright.  
  
The kid’s enhanced. Of course he’s alright.  
  
That doesn’t make the fear any less though. Not after Pepper. Oh god Pepper.  
  
The kid’s unmoving as Tony get’s there, his suit helmet pulling back. His on his side, back turned towards Tony, mask halfway off. His limps splayed out to the side, at weird angles. And suddenly the thin Spandex seemed like the wrong choice. Even bringing the kid seem like the wrong choice.  
  
Tony steps closer, carefully getting on his knees. Despite the suit protesting. The metal making a bad sound as he forces himself down. Fast. “Kid are you alright?”, Tony reaches out to lay a hand on the kid’s arm. To turn him over.  
  
**He knows what suppose to happen now. The kid’s suppose to turn around, chock, scared, panicked himself. But Tony will calm him down. Till him to stay down. Threatening about telling his aunt if he get’s back into the fight. Of course the kid fights him on it, it’s Peter Parker after all. Peter Parker-Stark actually. He’s a Stark. Stark men are made of Iron, and so is Peter. In some ways. But in the end, Peter will agree to stay. Will sit there, watching as things go wrong…**  
  
Only the kid doesn’t wake up. There’s no panic or fear. There’s nothing for Tony to calm down. There’s nothing to threaten. Cause the kid stay down.  
  
It’s with shaky hands Tony pulls the mask off. The thin, thin spandex colored in red and blue, easily sliding off the teens beaten up face. Revealing the blood. The blood slowly, but surely running down the back of the kid’s head. Quickly turned to gray ground around them dark red. As a pool of blood is slowly created.  
  
**Tony’s suppose to fly after Steve and Bucky. Rhodey is supposed to fall towards the ground, in what Tony in the moment is sure will be his death.  
  
That’s what’s supposed to happen…**  
  
Instead the team get’s around him. The look in their eyes telling Tony everything he needs to know. As Friday confirms the lack of a heartbeat in the kid’s small chest.  
  
The looks filled with blame, and pain for the boy is hunting down Tony. Stronger than any weapon or bomb could ever do, their looks… they make Tony scared. Makes him want to run and hide. But he can’t. He can’t get his feet to work, can’t even feel the ground under them.  
  
“Mr. Stark?” Tony winds around, he’s flying. That’s why he can’t run. Looking up into the sky, watching as the doughnut get’s higher and higher into the air. “I can’t breathe”. And far away, Tony can see Peter sticking to the ship. Future away than Tony would like, but he can make it. He knows he can, as he commands Friday to give him more juice. To unluck 17A. To do something. He can’t drop Peter like he did Pepper. The kid trust’s him too much.  
  
The thrust get’s all the power. All the energy. Everything Tony can give it, it get’s. But it seems the spaceship is so much faster than Tony. Despite Tony rocketing into the sky.  
  
**This didn’t even happen. The kid had gotten onboard the ship after Tony, had been at school. Not fighting with them. Side by side with rest of the team. He’d been safe!**  
  
When Tony finally catches up with the ship, he sees Peter pulling off his mask. Like it will help him breath in some way. But it won’t and only seconds later, Peter’s stick fingers seem to give up, sending Peter tumbling towards the ground. At high speed.  
  
Tony, 17A, Friday… they all do all they can to catch the kid. But he stays out of arms reach. Just centimeters from Tony’s grasp as they fall together.  
  
Falling, falling, falling.  
  
One giant crash follows another. As the kid tumbles into the dark water. The parachute folding itself around him in the thick water, that also seeps into Tony’s suit as he tries to grab out for the kid. Only finding cold fingers, likely from the coldness of the water. And Tony pulls all he can to get them both out the water. Only to lose grab halfway. Only to see the kid’s limp body sinking down into the deep, deep, dark water. And there nothing Tony can do, as the sun rises in the distance.  
  
Red desert sand filling the air, the metallic sound of the gauntlet snap sending waves of energy through the universe. Multiverse, Tony realizes.  
  
He’s suddenly hit in the chest, with a powerful force. A loud sound running through the suit, as metal hits metal. A shaky, heavy body against his. Peter’s curly hair dripping with sweat, and he started falling apart, piece, by piece, by piece. Slowly, but surely flying through the air.  
  
“I don’t know what’s happening” Peter whispers in a panicked, yet calm voice. “I don’t… I don’t… I don’t want to go. I don’t want to go, sir. Please” Peter begs.  
  
**Peter supposes to fall to his knees, slowly bleeding out from the wound in his chest. The snap’s suppose to happen just a little later, and Peter isn’t supposed to beg. No, quite the opposite. Peter knew he wouldn’t make it home, he accepted it, reassured Tony that everything would be okay. While Tony begged for the kid to stay, confusion, and sadness and fear and pain filling Tony’s body, making his stomach twist uncomfortably. But too, just like Peter know what would happen next. What was about to come. What would be left and what wouldn’t be. As he slowly let tears flow out of his eyes, down his cheeks.  
  
Peter isn’t supposed to beg, no. No! Peter was a hero, not even complaining about the throbbing pain he was in. He stayed strong, stayed positive. Why is his nightmare showing him this? Why is this the dream he has? Is this even a dream? Was getting home a dream? Is this a loop?**  
  
“I’m sorry” Peter broken, weak, raspy voice sounds. Far away like a distant echo. A distant memory. “I’m sorry”. He’s sorry for leaving, for dying. But Peter shouldn’t be sorry, Tony should be. This was on him. Peter’s death would always be on him.  
  
He allowed the kid to go out and fight crime, he didn’t stop him. He didn’t protect him.  
  
The kid had a building dropped on him, the kid crashed one of Tony’s planes. Why? Because Tony’s ego was too big to actually be there for the superhero kid, running around Queens. Because Tony was too scared to somebody else he cared about hurt, as he attempt to make Rhodey better with tech and tech and more tech. Maybe that was a mistake. Maybe that’s where Tony went wrong… Tony Stark, can’t fix everything._  
  
Tony shots up in his bed, his body soaked in sweat. His t-shirt, his hair, all sticking to his sweat, cold, body. As he desperately attempts to gasp for air. Air that doesn’t want to come into his lungs. As he pushes himself up on his elbows, searching for the heat of Pepper’s body.  
  
But Pepper isn’t there. Her side of the bed empty and cold. For a second making Tony almost doubt what’s real, and what isn’t. But he knows Pepper is okay. Right? He’s home now.  
  
He swings his legs over the edge of the bed, feet’s hitting the cold floor beneath him. Sending the cold up through his achy bones, up his legs, and knees, and up through his stomach, chest, arms, head. Making his shaky. His teeth almost clattering, as he pushed himself to stand up. Slowly making his way towards the door, only stopped for a few moments to grab the hoodie placed on a chair. It’s Rhodey’s.  
  
Rhodey’s red MIT hoodie moved in the second Tony was released from med bay. Tony’s fear of losing anybody else, growing into a need of having the people he cared about near, even if they wasn’t really there. The had meant on of Pepper’s neckless laid on Tony’s bedside table. As set of car key’s to one of Happy’s cars placed on a shelf in the back of the room. And Rhodey’s hoodie.  
  
The smell and the feeling of the soft fabric against Tony’s skin, calming him. Reminding him of what he still had, and of what he didn’t have.  
  
But with the hoodie around him like a protective shield, Tony pushed the bedroom door open, walking out into the empty, dark hallway of the compound. The hallway filled with sadness and sorrow, and nothing but terrifying fear.  
  
Slowly making his way towards the lab in the basement. Hoping the tinker.  
  
It’s with quite steps he makes it towards the elevator at the end of the hallway. The elevator doors open smoothly, not change there, it’s Tony build. His design. Tony forces himself inside, the tight space making him almost shake. It’s been a while since that’s been a thing. Since that fear had melted away, after hours with Mrs. Brown, and Mrs. Potts. And Happy to help him through it. And Rhodey’s understanding. The fear suddenly returning at full speed. As Tony fight to breath.  
  
Under his breath he might have cursed the elevator music’s slow tempo. He isn’t quite sure. But as soon as the elevator opens up again, he’s out at lightning speed. His feet, his brain, taking him towards the lab by routine. Writing out the pin code on the glass, next to the door.  
  
The lab smells slightly burned. The chemicals standing in their fancy cabinets when not in use, can make a whole room smell. Despite the locked glass doors.  
  
The floor is covered in oil stains, big black marks all over the grey concrete. Tools, and car pieces, and old suits are scattered all over Tony’s lab tables. And Tony pushed past it, finding his rolling chair, let’s himself slump down onto it. Leaning forwards. Head between his knees, as he tries once again to breath.  
  
  
A quite voice inside of Tony’s head, reminds him that the nightmares weren’t real. That wasn’t what happened, and it never would happen. It wasn’t real.  
  
But Tony can’t quite shake it anyways. Because, it could have happened.  
  
Maybe it should have?  
  
A quite beeping bring Tony out of his panic state, as Dum-E rolls around trying to catch his attention. Leaning over’s Peter worktable, still scared with his sensory deprivation technology. The vibration sound defenders, as small as earbuds, shining in the moon light, from the high windows in the lab. Just barely able to let light into the dark, dusty lab.  
  
Tony rolls over without a word. Letting his fingers run over the final design of Peter’s tech. A reminder that Tony has to release it, has to finish’s what Peter had started.  
  
He quietly picks it up, the metal heavy and cold in his hands. But Dum-E isn’t happy yet. Keep beeping, louder and louder, almost annoyingly on the other side of the worktable. Brushing paper’s to the side to the best of his abilities. Revealing a set of earbuds connected to an old mp3.  
  
Peter’s lab music. The stuff he’d listen to when he got tired of Tony’s rock.  
  
In a quick motion Tony grabs the mp3 and headphones, with shaky hands placing the cheap plastic into his ears. Running his fingers over the old cable, that got more kinks than any other cable Tony has ever seen. And between quite breaks, Tony turns the mp3 on with a long press of a button. Being greeted by a small tone telling him it’s on, before it jumps right back into the last song Peter had listened too.  
  
‘Who knows what you’ll find’ a female voice sounds, cheapy and muffled by the heavy base. Reminding Tony, that maybe Peter had needed new headphones for a while. He had given the kid new headphones, right? ‘In this beautiful life, that gives you a reason to smile. You smile, I smile, we smile” the song continues. The happy energetic music reminding Tony of the Peter he’d known before May’s tragic death. The Peter he never really got back, as the kid changed.  
  
“Friday” Tony’s voice is heavy as it comes out, “When was the last time Peter listened to this?”. It had to be a while back. Months most likely. Before things went wrong.  
  
Before Tony failed.  
  
Friday doesn’t reply, just plays a holo-recording of the lab. Peter’s in a way to big, lose hoodie, carefully making his way into the lab. Finding his place at the workshop table, and like always, moving around in his seat a lot. Changing position every few minutes.  
  
It doesn’t take long before the headphones are out and pushed deep into the kid’s ears. The music cranked up so loudly, that Friday’s cameras can just about pick it up. The recording speeds up as Peter falls into his works on the tech, but he struggles due to the broken arm. And it doesn’t slow down again before Bruce enters the lab and Peter turns the music down to a more acceptable level.  
  
Bruce moves closer before throwing a small pill buttle to Peter, who grabs it in the air easily without looking. Reminding Tony of that first meeting in the apartment. ‘Remember what Helen said, They aren’t tested. We don’t know what kind of side effects they could cause. Feeling just a little bit off? Come to us right away’ Bruce’s voice reminds. And Peter nods. This is the night where Peter took the pill, swallowing it dry, no water, no juice, no anything. Before being placed into a coma because his system couldn’t work with peppermint. Damn peppermint.  
  
But that doesn’t fit the music Peter was listening too at all. Peter struggled. Hurt. Steven was back, Ned and MJ had left him, pushed him. The night Tony and Pepper had gotten home late, finding Peter asleep… but soon enough being forced to see that their kid was dying.  
  
The music is too, bright. Too happy to be from that night.  
  
With a few clicks on the mp3, the song restarts. Tony needs to know what song Peter was listening to. What would drive him to hear it. And soon the song goes, while tears drips from Tony’s eyes as he realizes what’s going on. ‘Things aren't going your way, And it's written all over your face’, the singer sings, ‘And you're not even looking for the better days 'Cause you think that there's nothing left, no’. It’s so deep, so sad, and… so spot on to how Peter had been that last few days, despite the smile he’d been wearing like a mask over his face.  
  
As the song comes to an end, Tony’s eyes are red and swollen. ‘Who knows what you'll find, In this beautiful life That gives you a reason to smile’. And for a moment, it’s almost like Peter is there. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not back. Not really at least, not yet. I've had seven chapters just, laying around for a while, not posting them. I will, over the upcoming weeks, hoping that when that's done I'm ready to finish this story up. But with how things are looking right now... I doubt that will, actually happen. I mean, I'll finish it, promise there. But I'm feeling so, so bad mentally. Incapable of doing anything, but... idk... I just... I... it's just... I'm... I'm sorry...
> 
> I've got a discord... if you want... I guess... https://discord.gg/cfvr2tk

**Author's Note:**

> Happy new year :)


End file.
